<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Sidney, a point of view by sukiblue99</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29440974">Sidney, a point of view</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/sukiblue99/pseuds/sukiblue99'>sukiblue99</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Sanditon (TV 2019), Sanditon - Jane Austen</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 17:27:26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>34,739</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29440974</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/sukiblue99/pseuds/sukiblue99</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Ever wondered what Sidney gets up to when Charlotte isn’t around?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Charlotte Heywood &amp; Sidney Parker, Charlotte Heywood/Sidney Parker, Eliza Campion/Sidney Parker</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>98</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>154</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It had been a good night at the tables. Sidney enjoyed himself. The rout was the usual. Mothers pressing their daughters into his view, wittering on about their accomplishments. As if he gave a fig how well they played the piano. He amused himself by mildly flirting with the mothers, then crushing their hopes with one cold disinterested comment before stalking off back into the throng. The evening wasn’t complete if he hadn’t brought tears to the eyes of the silly little girls who batted their eyelashes at him and giggled when they spoke. </p><p>This evening he was pulled into a high stakes card game by Crowe, who was far too drunk to be playing. At least if Sidney played he could give Crowe back his losses in the morning. But things went rather well for Sidney and he found himself betting against the hand of Lord Brockenhurst. Unwisely the Lord, losing heavily and with little left to offer was about to surrender, when Sidney suggested double or nothing. Brockenhurst eyed him suspiciously, but being an invertebrate gambler he could not resist the challenge. </p><p>“My new phaeton, Parker. I saw your green eyes on it earlier. If you win, it’s yours. If I win, the table stakes are mine.<br/>
A smile spread across Sidney’s face. His hand was unbeatable and he had indeed viewed the phaeton with interest. He nodded his agreement and the room hushed in excitement. Crowe burbled his pleasure and stood up to attempt a shambolic command of the situation. Sidney slowly revealed his hand and Lord Brockhurst turned pale. The high pitched giggle of Babbington cut through the air as Lord Brockehurst stood abruptly and marched out in embarrassed defeat. Sidney gathered up the coins and notes in the centre of the card table. </p><p>“Well played old man. You couldn’t lend me some money could you. I seem to have lost all of mine.” Crowe slapped Sidney on the back and swayed dangerously on his feet. Babbington caught him, forcing him down into a chair.<br/>
“Sit Crowe. You’ve had too much to drink”.</p><p>“I’m not a dog Babbers, I’m a gentleman, in need of more wine.” </p><p>Flushed with the success of clearing out a titled aristocrat of a significant amount of money and winning a fine looking phaeton, Sidney was in great spirits. </p><p>“I’ve a mind to dance, Babbers. Let’s see what sport we can find.” The gentleman ambled towards the fast paced music and joined in with a lively Wheel. Sidney was alternately glared at by the young ladies he had dismissed earlier or fawned on by the ones who had escaped his brutish behaviour. The disgusted glances of the mothers he had disparaged made him smile all the more. </p><p>As the dance ended the three caught their breath out on the terrace, where champagne was served with pineapple slices. Crowe was quite disgusted. </p><p>A shrill, squat woman appeared before them, with three young women behind her, their eyes like saucers, their curls dancing around their faces as they stifled giggles. Sidney groaned audibly. Babbington, with better manners managed to silence a snort. Crowe burped loudly.</p><p>“I wonder if I could introduce my daughters, gentlemen. Girls, here!” The shrill woman gestured to her brood to step forward. Three identical girls stood before them gazing up at the gentlemen. In unison they curtsied quickly.<br/>
“Good grief!” Crowe was the first to speak. “I appear to be seeing in multiples.”</p><p>“Let me introduce the Misses Hartley, Melissa, Clarissa, and Ann.” Mrs Hartley announced. Babbington giggled loudly. Sidney felt his good humour trickle away.</p><p>“Mrs errr, I’ve no idea why you believe your daughters are of any interest to us. I have a full compliment of staff at my house and I’m not in the habit of employing maids at balls. Good evening.” </p><p>Mrs Hartley turned a strange purple colour and took an angry step towards Sidney.</p><p>“You Sir are rude, and drunk, how dare you insult…”</p><p>“I may well be drunk madam, but your daughters are plain. And in the morning I shall be sober.” With that he turned on his heel and walked inside in search of a stronger drink. Routs could be such fun, but were so often ruined by women believing their offspring would be irresistible to him. Sidney downed a large slug of brandy as he surveyed the room once more, his eyes always on the lookout for a particular old friend. In all the years he had never encountered her, but he never stopped hoping and looking. He turned to his friends.</p><p>“Time to leave chaps.” He instructed them. Babbington and Crowe were well used to this impetuous side to Sidney and knew not to disagree. Crowe was in no fit state to have an opinion and only Babbington could really see straight.<br/>
“Off to Mrs Harries’ I think.” Babbington had his carriage called. Crowe was more or less poured into his seat and Sidney sat with Babbington opposite. Both kept a wary eye, should Crowe slide to the floor.</p><p>A short bumpy ride to a less well appointed part of town saw the gentlemen alight Babbington’s carriage and enter the establishment of Mrs Harries’ Relaxation for the discerning. Holding Crowe up between them, they were warmly welcomed into a perfumed and dimly lit room. Spread over numerous velvet chaise and loungers were ladies in various states of undress, being attended to by eager men. </p><p>“Why gentlemen, I wasn't expecting you this evening. The ladies will be pleased to see you.” Mrs Harries waved them into an inner chamber, more perfumed, darker but more sparely furnished. The women in this room were more elegant and appeared more refined, than the previous. Two young women stepped up smiling happily.</p><p>“Let us unburden you of Mr Crowe.” They said almost in unison. They expertly took hold of one arm each, and coaxed Crowe to walk with them. He needed little encouragement, just steadying on his feet. He was lead off into an antechamber.<br/>
Sidney sank into a deep armchair and waved for a drink. Babbington surveyed the room looking for an entertaining companion for himself.</p><p>A large brandy glass was seductively pressed into Sidney’s hand. </p><p>“What an unexpected pleasure Mr Parker. You are looking particularly fine this evening. Can I tempt you?” A small dark haired young woman leant over him, her hand extended towards him. Sidney looked up into the familiar dark eyes, surrounded by curls falling around her face. The irritation of the encounter at the Rout was forgotten. Instead his eyes rested on her pale full bosom and neat small waist. Elisabeth, if that was her real name, knew him well enough. He took her offered hand and allowed her to pull him from the chair and into another small, dimly lit room furnished with just one large bed and a chair. Sidney began to pull at his cravat with one hand while gulping from his brandy glass with the other. Elizabeth stepped in.</p><p>“Now Mr Parker, that really is my job.” She pushed him lightly into the low chair and sank to her feet, removing his boots with practised ease. Sidney relaxed and allowed his mind to go blank. He was used to her ways and enjoyed giving up his power for a few short minutes. Elisabeth worked quickly. She was well aware of Mr Parker’s preferences. No idle chatter, no kissing, an almost sterile and emotionless coupling of bodies. His was in need of physical release and she was quite happy to oblige. He was after all a fine gentleman with good manners and never did her any harm. He was a pleasure to administer to and he paid well. Their meetings were always brief and lacking in any but the most common courtesy. She felt her attentions were more of a medical need rather than a passionate desire for intimacy. All too quickly and with practised ease he was undone. He dressed rapidly, thanked her and placed a coin in her décolletage as his relaxed face broke into a smile that could warm the hardest of hearts. </p><p>Sidney, having got what he came for, marched from the room and banged loudly on the next door. </p><p>“Hurry up Babbington, for goodness sake. We need to get the Phaeton!” Muffled sounds were heard from within. Sidney moved on to the next room. This time not bothering to knock, he flung open the door to see a sleeping Crowe, fully dressed, as the two ladies sat either side of him, one stroking his curls and the other idly stroking his thighs. </p><p>“Wake him up ladies, we are on our way.” Sidney had enough time for another welcome slug of brandy while he waited to be joined by his friends. </p><p>“I swear you get quicker Sidney. I hardly had time to remove my breeches.” Babbington grumbled a little and steered Crowe in the direction of the door. </p><p>Once back at Mrs Maudseley’s Sidney demanded the Phaeton previously belonging to Lord Brockenhurst. It was a fine carriage. They stood to admire it under the burning torches that lit the outside of the house. </p><p>“Not exactly what I was after.” He said with a small sigh, which Babbers had seen many times at the end of yet another social gathering. Sidney wished his companions goodnight and jumped into his prize.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was late afternoon when Sidney was rudely awakened by his butler.</p><p>“Sir, it’s three o’clock. I thought perhaps you may wish to rise. Lord Babbington and Mr Crowe await you in the dining room.”<br/>Sidney groaned and stretched. His head ached as if he’d been kicked by a horse. His mouth felt as dry as sand.<br/>“Water. Before I expire.” Gruffly Sidney reached out for the offered glass and drank quickly. He struggled into his clothes and went in search of his friends.</p><p>“Here he is, the great games master.” Crowe, stood and bowed deeply.</p><p>Sidney fished about in his coat and withdrew a bundle of notes.</p><p>“Your losses Crowe.” Sidney threw the bundle onto the table.</p><p>“You look like you need food, Sidney. The devilled kidneys are excellent. Eat with us.” Babbington continued to tuck into his plate piled high with a very late breakfast as Crowe counted the notes that had landed beside his plate.<br/>“I gambled that much? Why didn’t someone try to stop me?” Crowe eyes were wide with disbelief. </p><p>“A proportion of that was kindly donated by Lord Brockenhurst. He was in a very generous mood.” Sidney smirked rather, remembering his lovely new carriage.</p><p>The butler approached Sidney with a silver salver.</p><p>“You post Sir.” Sidney looked down at the familiar handwriting and rolled his eyes.</p><p>“Burn it Hodges.” </p><p>“Very good Sir.” Hodges turned away.</p><p>Babbington rose and snatched up the letter. </p><p>“Absolutely not! You will not burn a missive without reading. It might be important.” Babbington took the silver letter knife and sliced open the envelope. “Do I have to read it for you?”</p><p>Sidney glared at him, sighed loudly and continued eating.</p><p>“It’s from Tom and I can tell you exactly what it says. He will be asking for money. And he will want me to visit him in Sanditon.”</p><p>Babbington opened the letter and started to read.</p><p>“Dearest Sidney, I wonder if you and a crowd of your most well appointed friends might grace Sanditon with your presence? We will soon have our first mid Summer Ball. We haven’t seen you in an age. Mary and the children miss you.” Babbington lowered the letter and looked at Sidney.</p><p>“Well that’s sounds infinitely exciting. Why don’t we all go?”</p><p>“If there is an inviting hostelry, I’m in.” Crowe looked up momentarily from his food to catch Babbington’s eye. He saw the excited glint in his friend’s face.</p><p>Sidney growled. </p><p>“It’s not like I haven’t warned you. Sanditon is unspeakably tedious. I’m just surprised Tom hasn’t asked for money.” Sidney sounded bored and mildly irritable.</p><p>“Well, I shan’t be put off, you know. It’s settled.” A gleeful Babbington said. </p><p>“Right. Well we can try out the Phaeton. See how quickly we can get there. And how quickly we can get back to London once you are both bored with the little place.” Sidney knew his friends could not be dissuaded, and a short visit for the Ball was probably unavoidable. </p><p>“Gracious no! All that way in a bumpy open carriage, the wind howling through our ears. I’ll take my Hatchet. Crowe?” Babbington looked over towards him.</p><p>“I’m with you Babbers. Sidney, we’ll see you there.”</p><p>“Perhaps a wager on who arrives first? Five pounds says I will win.” Sidney teased his friends. They all knew he would be the quickest and declined to take his bet. </p><p>The rest of the meal continued with companionable chatter. Crowe had investments to arrange. Babbington needed to contact his estate manager, and Sidney, well his responsibilities required little more than finding the next amusement. <br/>Once they were sated, they went on to discuss the evening's entertainment.</p><p>“I don’t believe I have any invitations for this evening.” Babbington considered, an evening without a social gathering was a little unexpected.</p><p>“Point me at a bar, any bar.” Crowe's needs were fairly easily met. Sidney however had other plans.</p><p>“Gentlemen I suggest the Pleasure Gardens at Vauxhall. Perhaps some rowing and some games. Arthur assured me he found it very stimulating. I’m sure it would make for some fun.”</p><p>“Where is Arthur?” An inquisitive Babbington asked.</p><p>“And the fragrant Diana? I miss her startled look.” Crowe grinned mischievously at Sidney who glared sharply back.</p><p>“They are spending the summer in Sanditon at Tom’s suggestion. They left yesterday.”</p><p>“And what of your mysterious ward Sidney? Are we ever to meet her?” Crowe continued to goad Sidney, enjoying his discomfort. </p><p>“Also packed off. She’ll be much safer there. Nothing ever happens in Sanditon.”</p><p>“Anything can happen anywhere.” Crowe spoke gravely as he regarded a tense Sidney. </p><p>“Well she is safer there. She was forming unsuitable err, friendships. She’s got a strict governess and the companionship of two other young ladies. Tom should be pleased they will be lodging in one of his houses. I can’t do much more than that.” Sidney certainly had worries on his wide shoulders, mainly to do with Tom, but also his ward Georgiana. He snapped out of his momentary gloom.</p><p>“Gentlemen! The Pleasure Gardens!”</p><p>The evening arrived soon enough and the gentlemen strolled around the pleasure gardens watching the entertainers swallow fire, juggle with swords and create human pyramids. Sidney was aloof and distracted. His eyes scanned the crowds as he so frequently did. </p><p>“She won’t be here. You know that.” Babbington leaned closer to Sidney and spoke quietly. “It’s been only a matter of weeks. She’ll be in Derbyshire for her mourning.” </p><p>“Yes, you are probably right.” A deep sad sigh escaped Sidney, then he turned to Crowe and Babbers with a lighter tone. “Come on. Let’s ride the hot air balloon.”</p><p>They crossed the gardens and looked at the Balloon flying high above the wicker basket. Sidney jumped in and turned to Crowe and Babbington. Crowe looked suddenly uncomfortable.</p><p>“I need you both to balance the basket. Come on.”</p><p>“Tell me why leaving the ground is a good idea? If I wished to fly I’d have grown wings.” Crowe grumbled. He often had enough difficulty remaining upright on terra firma. Crowe sprang awkwardly into basket and almost immediately he made to climb out, not quite realising they had ascended several feet from the ground already.</p><p>“Steady Crowe! Watch where you are going.” It took both Sidney and Babbers to stop him swinging a long leg over the basket straight into thin air. </p><p>Falling back into the basket, all three found themselves laughing uncontrollably at the ridiculousness of Crowe as the ground fell ever more away. </p><p>They gazed at the lights of the Pleasure Gardens and the flickering street lights of London beyond. The view was quite magical. It stilled the gentlemen and they all were suddenly more serious.</p><p>Once back on firm ground, and having sampled most of the entertainments, the gentlemen made their way back to their carriages. Leaving the Pleasure Gardens they passed a fortune teller sitting on the ground, who beckoned to them. Sidney laughed at him.</p><p>“Be away with you. You are nothing but a charlatan.” The old man looked up at Sidney with one clear eye.</p><p>“You Sir will encounter your misplaced heart unexpectedly, only to lose it once again, through your own foolishness.” Sidney stood transfixed staring hard at the man, as he waved his crooked fingers towards him. Babbington took Sidney by the arm to pull him away as the man turned his attention to him.</p><p>“And the Lord will get that which he most desires, after some troubles.” Crowe threw a coin to the man. “And my future? Tell me what that holds?”</p><p>“I see only the world viewed through the bottom of a glass.” The fortune teller told Crowe. Babbington giggled. “I suggest you have one out of three correct.”</p><p>“I am never wrong my Lord. You will see. Very soon.”</p><p>Shaken, Sidney walked away rapidly. He turned to his friends.</p><p>“What did he mean Crowe? My misplaced heart? That isn’t me.” Sidney looked confused and felt more so. </p><p>“You’ve been a heartless bastard for years Sidney. I don’t expect you, to need me, to tell you that.” Crowe grinned at his friend’s discomfort. </p><p>Babbington tried to change the subject. “We have an early start chaps, let us retire.”</p><p>“Did he mean Eliza do you think? Being my heart?” Sidney has a light in his eyes, of hope over despair. </p><p>“She was never your heart Sidney. Just an infatuation, that’s gone on far too long. The fortune teller was obviously mad. I shall get what I most desire. I have everything I could possibly desire. Wealth, peerage, the best friends a man could have. You are right, he’s a charlatan. Ignore him. He earned his coin.”</p><p>Once home Sidney decided to go straight to bed. His trunk had been packed and sat waiting in the hallway of Bedford House. He frowned as he passed it. It represented Sanditon and having to do something he was obliged to do. Not something he wished to do. Sidney rarely did anything he didn’t want to. When he and Eliza had been torn apart by unfortunate circumstance Sidney had embarked on a high life of indulgence. He travelled, he drank, he sampled forbidden delights and learned they were all the sweeter. He promised himself then his life would be filled with merry making and frivolity. Not for him to risk another broken heart. Once was enough. If only he could find Eliza again.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>That night dreams plagued Sidney. The lithe young figure of Eliza running through the woods, always out of reach and almost out of sight, as Sidney chased in vain after her, calling her name. The dreams were always the same.</p><p>Since learning of the death of Mr Campion some weeks previously, his dreams were more frequent, and even more irksome.<br/>Sidney shook himself awake to escape the unending dream. He lay in his bed and wondered when the occasion would come that he would see Eliza once more. The lined face of the fortune teller came to him. Sidney found his words comforting. He would regain his lost heart. His lost Eliza. Sidney dismissed the words of warning from his prediction. He would never let her go again. He just had to wait until he found her. </p><p>He woke with a bright energy the next morning. Could it be Eliza may seek him out? Her first port of call was bound to be Sanditon. The place they had parted from each other. The last place they had been together. The thought was enough to give a spring in his step. He breakfasted quickly and remembering his wager with Babbers and Crowe he called for the Phaeton to be made ready. </p><p>The journey from London to Sanditon was reasonably long, but short enough not to require a stop or change of horses. Sidney enjoyed the speed his carriage achieved. The sound of clattering hooves on the tracks made his heart beat faster. As the sea beyond the cliffs came into view Sidney found he was in high spirits. </p><p>Up ahead he saw the unmistakable figure of Mary, Tom’s wife. One of the very few women Sidney had a great deal of regard for. Mary had been at Tom’s side when their parents had passed away. She had lifted him and encouraged him. She was Tom’s reason to go on living. If it hadn’t been for Mary, those dark days would have been much worse. </p><p>Sidney pulled up his horses and leapt down from his carriage, marching swiftly towards her. He was keen to greet her after so long. He needed to see her smiling face look lovingly at him as she always did. He felt the need for her warmth. It was only as he approached that he noticed Mary was not alone and Sidney immediately felt irritation. He didn’t need a stranger observing him as he greeted Mary. He wanted to show his affection on seeing her after his extended absence. Such touching greetings were not for strangers eyes. He looked to see who the interloper might be. Beside Mary was a young girl, probably a companion. He hoped she wasn’t some distant cousin Mary had invited to Sanditon in the hope of making a match with him. Sidney suppressed the urge to roll his eyes. Should this girl simper or giggle he would not be able to hold himself back. He greeted Mary warmly trying his hardest to avoid the inquisitive eyes of the girl beside her. But he could not.  Feeling her continued and quite blatant stare Sidney could not stop a quick glance in her direction. He was met with large, deep brown eyes that seemed to appraise him and find him wanting. Sidney felt his heart jolt. With the blood rushing through his ears, he made what he believed to be a polite and quick escape back to the Phaeton. He leapt up and encouraged the horses on. He felt the need to get away as quickly as possible. </p><p>In the sanctuary of the Crowne Hotel, Sidney pondered on why he had been so unsettled. He was always stared at by young ladies. In fact if their eyes didn’t follow him around a room he would have been more surprised. The difference was when he met their gaze, they would always look away coyly, giggling and covering their blushes with embroidered handkerchiefs. This woman, this Miss Heywood, hadn’t lowered her eyes. She hadn’t even smiled. He couldn’t imagine her ever simpering. She had regarded him with a look for interested distaste. In fact her face was a picture of disapproval. Since she was Mary’s guest, he’d gathered from their short conversation, he wondered what on earth Mary might have told her to illicit the look of distain he could still see in his mind. It was with great relief that Sidney was soon joined by Babbington and Crowe. He could put the disquieting feeling out of his mind and concentrate on squeezing whatever enjoyment there was to be had out of dreary Sanditon. </p><p>Crowe looked less than impressed with the Crowne. </p><p>“I believe I said enticing hostelry, Parker, not drafty downtrodden dump.”</p><p>Babbington was in a more affable mood. </p><p>“Does the place liven up later? Or is there somewhere else? I for one, feel a spot of flirtation is in order.”</p><p>Crowe snorted with derision. “What here? You are moving in the wrong circles Babbers.”</p><p>“Perhaps not in here, but here.” Babbers waved his arms around to encompass all Sanditon in general. He wasn’t going to limit his powers of flirtation to just one dull hotel bar.</p><p>“It’s my round. Let’s go to the Tavern. There’s a little more of life to see there. The wine flows freely and I’m buying.” Sidney smiled at his friends. The open happy grin from Babbington, always eager to enjoy life, and the more critical and disapproving look from Crowe. </p><p>Happily settled on a central table in the busy Tavern, the gentlemen looked about. The serving wenches were fresh and pretty enough to flirt with. The wine certainly  flowed, with bottles arriving at their table with welcome regularity. <br/>“Tomorrow is the famous Sanditon Ball is it not? I hope we shall find some sport there.” Babbington gleefully poured lots more wine into their glasses. </p><p>“Steady on Babbers. No need to rush things.” Sidney, enjoyed a good drink as much as the next man, perhaps not quite as much as Crowe, but the thought of waking with a crashing hangover and having to face Tom in the morning, did not please him. Crowe was far less reticent. </p><p>“I believe I should be in complete control of that flagon. Give it here Babbers!” Crowe sloshed more wine into glasses and over the table, making Babbington leap back away from the spillage. </p><p>“Come on Sidney. Any nice young ladies going to be at the Ball tomorrow? I am in want of a wife, so my father tells me. I’d rather find my own before he hitches me to a one eyed crow with money and little else.” Sidney grinned at his oldest friend.<br/>“You really think you’ll find some spirited beauty in this tawdry backwater? I doubt it Babbers. If you can’t find a suitable wife in the London season, you’ll hardly find one here. Lady D has a young niece or two, I believe. Without a penny. That might annoy your father? Obviously my ward is out of the question, as are her two young companions. There might be other young ladies...” A vision of Miss Heywood sprang into his mind and he found himself wondering if she might attend the ball. It was highly likely as a companion to Mary that she would. He pushed the image of her disapproving stare, out of his thoughts. </p><p>Sidney drained his glass. The long drive had tired him and the wine was soporific. He stifled a yawn.</p><p>“Can I expect to see the lovely Diana?” Crowe slurred and gripped the table for stability.</p><p>Sidney slammed down his glass angrily. “That’s enough Crowe! You will turn your attention elsewhere.” He knew Crowe was most likely joking but he wasn’t in the mood to have to defend his sister’s honour, and thoughts of seeing Tom in the morning were starting to play on his mind. Sidney decided it best to retire for the evening. He left just as Babbington ordered their fifth bottle of wine. </p><p>“You could let your hair down occasionally you know.” Crowe called after him as Sidney left the Tavern without a backward glance and only a cursory wave. </p><p>That night Sidney’s dreams plagued him again. This time the brown eyes of Miss Heywood followed him as he ran but he could not escape her. Everywhere he turned she stood before him, her expression one of dislike. Sidney woke feeling as if he had no sleep at all. And now to make matters worse he would be visiting Tom.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The meeting with Tom had gone better than expected, and Sidney had been able to leave Trafalgar House without running into Miss Heywood, much to his relief. </p><p>He sought the company of Babbers and Crowe who had decided sea bathing was something to be enjoyed (Babbers) and endured (Crowe). Sidney met them on the sands but declined to join them. He watched as they frolicked in the waves. How unexpected his friends were. So polite and stuffy in London, and now in Sanditon, relaxed, enjoying the sea and the sun. Eventually of course the chilly water became too much and they clamoured out of the waves and rested on the sand, wrapped in linen cloth to warm themselves. Sidney gazed across the beach. </p><p>“Penny for your thoughts old man?” Babbington saw the far away look in Sidney’s eyes. He had seen it often. He knew it meant he was thinking of Eliza. </p><p>“It was here Babbers, the Mid Summer Ball. That was the last time. It’s when she told me she had to marry. It’s why I avoid Sanditon at this time of year. I can’t believe Tom had resurrected it.” The sadness in Sidney’s voice had softened over the years but it was still there. Crowe looked towards him.</p><p>“She’d be mad to come back here. But with all her wealth, she could buy the whole town.” </p><p>“Perhaps she will, Crowe.” Sidney spoke wistfully, not turning his gaze away from the setting sun on the horizon. “We’d best make a move. Tom and his Grand Mid Summer Ball wait for no man.” Sidney jumped up and pulled the still shivering Crowe and more robust Babbington to their feet. </p><p>Back in the Crowne, the gentlemen were dressed quickly by hotel valets. They weren’t up to the standard Sidney and his friends were used to but it was much better than trying to dress oneself. Once ready they met in the dimly lit bar. </p><p>“Rum! That is what this evening needs.” Pronounced Sidney. He wasn’t particularly looking forward to an evening fending off girls from the village. A half bottle of rum would make the whole event less painful and more clouded.</p><p>The gentlemen toasted themselves, each other, random absent friends and reminiscences, until two bottles of rum were no more. They felt cheerily inebriated. Babbers particularly, since he felt his life would be rather enhanced by a spirited and beautiful wife, was ready for the hunt. Crowe just enjoyed rum, or indeed any spirit that warmed his gullet and dizzied his head. Sidney felt happily detached enough to see no harm in Tom’s Ball. She wouldn’t be there after all. That was just wishful thinking. </p><p>It was gone midnight when Babbington and Sidney reconvened in the Crowne bar. Babbington effervessed with excitement. <br/>“Green eyes Sidney! A green that one could only imagine. Such brightness.”</p><p>“Green. Yes you said. Green, as in leaves. Hard to imagine.” Sidney was not in the best of moods and finding Babbington’s incessant chatter and extreme excitement over Miss Denham more than irritating. </p><p>“Oh come on now! You must have seen? The pale luminous skin. Red hair! Her freckles? She is exquisite. How did you not alert me? Penniless niece you said. Nothing about her striking beauty. Her wit, her charm, her authenticity. What is wrong with you, that you would not notice?” Babbington burbled on and on about the attributes he saw in Miss Denham. Attributes Sidney found very hard to see. Finally he snapped.</p><p>“Where is Crowe do you think? Drunk is a ditch somewhere. Should we look for him?”</p><p>“Gracious no! I saw him accompany Miss Brereton on a stroll along the promenade. The rogue. I do hope the lady sees fit to reject his advances. Can you imagine Crowe getting married? It would be hilarious.” Babbington giggled. Sidney scowled. He didn’t need a scandal involving Crowe to bring the Parker name into disrepute. </p><p>“How was your evening Sidney? I hardly saw you. Did you dance perchance? Any young lady catch your eye?” Babbington had been far too enthralled with Miss Denham to notice anything else going on around him, and Sidney was not going to admit to his embaressing brutish behaviour.</p><p>The evening had been hot and long for Sidney. He was trapped into dancing with Miss Heywood, something he had not expected. He considered walking off, but something held him before her, his feet almost stuck to the floor. She had smiled at him this time. A nervous charming smile. She had danced lightfooted with him. He could still feel her tiny warm hand in his and the soft bump of her bosom against his chest. That had been most enjoyable. During their dance she seemed to warm to him, asking probing questions and providing an insightful knowledge of society. Sidney had stiffened his deameanour, ensuring his eyes remained firmly in the middle distance somewhere over her shoulder. Her décolleté was quite breathtaking and had caught his eye immediately. It had been difficult not to stare. Sidney decided that was why his feet would not carry him far away from her when he had the chance. Thankfully their dance was interuppted by the arrival of Georgiana and Sidney danced the next dance with her, relieved not to have to control his more base instincts. To avoid any further encounters with Miss Heywood, Sidney danced with Mary, Diana and for a little fun, both Miss Beauforts who blushed so profusely in his arms he thought they might melt away. This was the reaction he expected from young ladies. While he disliked the silly giggling, it was entirely predictable and reinforced Sidney of his notion ladies were frivolous beings of little interest to him. Nonetheless he enjoyed the power he had over them.</p><p>To make absolutely sure Eliza was not at the ball, and provide him some respite from the flirtatious glances he drew from virtually every woman there, (with the annoying exception of Miss Heywood), Sidney escaped to a balcony above the dance hall. </p><p>He searched in vain for a golden blonde head of hair on top of pale elegant shoulders. She wasn’t there. He knew she wouldn’t be but he had to be certain. It was then his thoughts were interrupted by the arrival of Miss Heywood. He was almost glad of her company for a few short moments. She distracted him from his thoughts. His futile attachment to Eliza. But the conversation went rather awry when that opinionated headstrong girl had suggested Tom was irresponsible. </p><p>Sidney had spent most of his life defending Tom. From friends, teachers, even his own father. More recently from bank managers and money lenders who disparaged Tom and his dream for Sanditon. Sidney hadn’t listened closely to what Miss Heywood said. His thoughts were elsewhere and his eyes were trained on her comely figure. Then suddenly his mood snapped. The heat, the rum, no sign of Eliza and this silly girl speaking to him as if she could see into his mind. Sidney put a stop to it and her in the best way he knew. He made her cry, he terrified her and then he stormed off. Feeling quite pleased with himself Sidney left the ball for a calming stroll along the sands. He walked barefoot just along the waves edge. He followed the water as it receded and flowed forth, zig zagging up and down the beach. The rum induced haze subsided and Sidney felt ashamed. He had lost his temper rather more than he’d first expected, and the sight of tears springing in Miss Heywood eyes made him burn with shame. She was a guest of Tom and Mary’s, and as such he should have been a little more benevolent, despite her rudeness. She was just a farm girl unused to society and its niceties. Now back in the company of Babbington he wanted to forget all about the ball.</p><p>“My evening was intolerable Babbers. But I’m so glad you found what you are looking for. And Crowe by the looks of things too.” There was no chance at all that Sidney would divulge the details of his evening to Babbington. His friend was loyal but such a gentleman who would not view Sidney’s behaviour in a good light. </p><p>Sidney changed the subject.</p><p>“What time shall we leave tomorrow? I expect to be up at first light, four or so hours from now. There’s deer coursing at Lady Crawley’s place in the afternoon, with a Point to Point. I fancy Ebony can match any horse there. Prize is fifty pounds. Will you come and watch me win? </p><p>“I was sort of hoping to stay a little longer Sidney. I have a race to win myself. Here.” “Not the Denham creature?” Sidney groaned loudly. “She’s a fiery one, I know that much. You’ll need to be your best self to gain her attention. She’s seen off more suitors than you have hats, Babbers.” </p><p>Sidney settled on travelling back to London and leaving Babbington to enjoy Sanditon alone. He was fairly certain Crowe would join him in London. Crowe had other ideas. After an evening of dancing and much more rum, he could not be woken at dawn and Sidney wasted much of the morning hammering on his hotel door trying to raise him.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Thus Sidney breakfasted with his friends. Over devilled eggs he persuaded Babbers that allowing Miss Denham some time to suffer from his absence, would greatly help his cause. The gentlemen agreed to travel back to London. Sidney was greatly relieved. It was unfortunate then that they encountered Tom just as they left the Crowne. </p><p>It wasn’t infact Tom that Sidney’s eyes alighted upon at first. It was Miss Heywood. Atop the scaffold of the new development she stood sure footed and perfectly at ease with her elevation. So much so that she appeared to be in a flirtatious conversation with one of Tom’s employees. Sidney felt his innards twist and he momentarily stopped in his tracks and stooped forward. It was at that moment that Tom noticed the gentlemen and hailed them loudly from the scaffold.</p><p>Sidney felt his temper heating. This was the last thing he needed. Having spent the morning telling Babbers absence really did make the heart grow fonder, and he was a walking example of that, he didn’t need Tom undoing all his good work. But it took only a mere matter of seconds and it was all truly undone. There was mention of a luncheon in the same sentence as the name Denham and Babbington could not be persuaded.</p><p>“Sidney, my two favourite things in all the world, a luncheon party and Miss Denham. You cannot expect me to leave for London now?”</p><p>Crowe watched on. He quite enjoyed seeing Babbers prostate himself before a completely disinterested female. So he was happy enough to accompany him to the luncheon and watch him fail miserably. Sidney fumed. </p><p>In fact Sidney could not deal with his bubbling rage at all. As Tom continued expousing how honoured they were to attend a luncheon given by Lady Denham, he sucked deeply on his cigarette and let his gaze return to Miss Heywood smiling up on the scaffold, her full attention turned entirely on the Young Mr Stringer. Sidney gritted his teeth and exhaled. A blue cloud of smoke enveloped Tom at he continued his animated dialogue with </p><p>“Yes, yes, I am certain Miss Esther will attend. As sure as eggs are eggs. How pleased she will be to welcome you, Lord Babbington.” His sentence was mercifully cut short by a loud and impolite coughing fit. </p><p>Meanwhile Sidney’s attention was still focussed on Miss Heywood descending the ladder from the high scaffold, while being steadied by the strong arm of Young Stringer. Their entwined hands reminded Sidney of his dance with Miss Heywood and he felt the light touch of her hand in his palm again. An odd sensation indeed. His fingers closed against his palm, as if to hold on to that tender memory.</p><p>Sidney could see no more. He marched smartly away, leaving Babbington and Crowe to make his apologises to Tom and assure him they would all attend the eagerly awaited luncheon. A pulse thundered in Sidney’s temple. He wondered if one day it may burst forth and cause him injury. That would teach Tom to interfere in his life. And then suddenly, there was an unmistakable and quite firm tug at his sleeve and a small breathless voice calling his name. Sidney stood stock still, unsure what fresh hell was about to befall him. </p><p>Caught unawares and with his temper so close to erupting, Sidney struggled to maintain composure. He was in the street, in front of his brother, who was the cause of his bad humour, with his oldest friends watching and he was being addressed by that infernal girl. If it had not be completely improper he would have asked what on earth she wanted from him, and could she please do him the good service and leave him alone! He fixed his features to neutral as best he could and his eyes skimmed the top of her head. As she continued speaking he thought how odd it was that her hair was loose under her bonnet, and blew about in the wind obscuring her eyes, until she moved the stray curls away. As she drew breath and was about to continue, Sidney took his chance. He would silence her once and for all. She seemed entirely impervious to his admonishment at the ball, so this time he would be more forthright and make it absolutely clear he had no interest in her whatsoever. In fact he didn’t think of her at all. Never had, never will...</p><p>There was only one thing for it. Boxing. </p><p>In the darkened back room of the Tavern, Sidney vented his inner most feelings to his friends, sparing no descriptive expletive, expressing exactly what he thought of both of them. How they laughed. The more angry Sidney became the more they seemed to enjoy it. </p><p>“Never seen you put in your place by a woman before, Sidney. Your face was an absolute picture.” Sidney considered how closely Babbington’s laugh resembled a stuck pig just before slaughter. He even considered punching him to make it stop but decided against it. </p><p>“She seems infinitely more exciting than your usual sort, Sidney. I like a bit of spunk in a girl and she has the measure of you, no doubt about it.” Crowe was careful to keep just over an arms length distance from Sidney. He liked to tease and provoke but he didn’t like the quite painful repercussions of his dry wit. </p><p>Sidney pushed his chair back loudly in the dark smoke filled back room of the Tavern. He slammed down a five pound note on the bar. </p><p>“Who will fight? I have five pounds says I can beat any one of you. Who will take me on?” He glared through the haze to see who was up for a fight. He had to work out his temper, clear his head, forget the silly girl who virtually accused him of having feelings for her. It was ridiculous. He ought to have laughed in her face. But he’d been too astounded. When Babbers suggested she might be correct in her assumption, Sidney’s temper had reached new heights. Crowe compounded things when he mentioned Sidney’s anger was a sign Cupid’s bow had indeed pierced him and he knew it. </p><p>Yet, they were his oldest friends, the only people in the world that truly knew him. How could they be so utterly and totally wrong? Or were they just jesting with him for the sport? That must be it. They laughed at Sidney because he’d dragged them to this dull old place and they had nothing else to amuse them. Well he’d show them and give his ire a little exercise. <br/>Out of the gloom a large fellow stood up and raised his hand. He was large but not muscled. </p><p>Sidney pulled his shirt over his head, not wishing to get his opponents blood on it. He tossed it to Babbington. The crowd murmured. Bets were placed, money exchanged hands. Sidney stood his ground. He flexed his muscles and stretched his back. His well toned body resulted in some quickly switched bets. He was stronger than he looked when clothed. Gone was the gentlemanly posture, upright and a little dandy. Sidney raised his fists, leant forward, his menacing eyes fixed on his opponent. He looked exactly like an experienced brawler. In his mind Sidney focussed on the many things that had lead him to this moment. Tom’s incessants demands dragging him back to Sanditon time and again. Sanditon, the place he would rather forget and never see again, but it drew him back as if it was in his blood. And that girl, her blasted words. “Only if you don’t care I wonder you take the trouble to be quite so rude and hurtful.” </p><p>His blood boiled again and the power of it fuelled his punches. His opponent didn’t stand a chance. Blows reigned down from Sidney’s anger filled fists, until the man held up his hands in surrender and limped away to lick his wounds. Sidney raised his hands in victory just as Tom shouted his name.</p><p>“I might have guessed I’d find you here. We are due at Lady Denham’s and here you are spattered in blood, dripping in sweat like a common vagrant. Get ready and don’t be late!” </p><p>Sidney licked his swollen lip and tasted the metallic hint of blood. The sense of peace in victory had not lasted long. He’d completely forgotten about the rotten luncheon. His anger had abated. The pain from the punches he’d sustained to his guts saw to that. But now he felt deflated, rather than victorious. Tom, the eldest, had triumphed once more and Sidney was following orders. </p><p>As Babbington commissioned two small carriages, Sidney walked to the sea. He plunged his head into a deep rock pool and let the cold water repair his battered features. At very least he wouldn’t look like he’d come straight from a fight. He hoped his swollen lip would subside. There was bound to be a soup course to navigate.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Thank goodness for Arthur. Sidney didn’t always appreciate Arthur’s foibles but today he’d outdone himself. </p><p>As Lady Denham’s shrill tone rang out calling “Mr Parker! No, not you!” Sidney took the chance to disappear towards the stables. He grabbed Arthur by the elbow and steered him swiftly away with him, before Lady Denham could change her mind.<br/>“My dear little brother. You really are the master of timing. The king of the moment. The pineapple carver supreme.” Sidney slapped Arthur on the back rather more firmly than Arthur was expecting. He stumbled.</p><p>“It was rotten Sidney. Rotten to the core.” Arthur looked troubled. Sidney was not normally affable or very complimentary to him. </p><p>“Quite. And thanks to you the luncheon is now over and here we are.” Sidney waved his arms around, relieved to be free of the stifling atmosphere in Lady Denham’s dining room. </p><p>“Sidney, could I ask you something?” Arthur looked grave. He swallowed hard. He adored his brother but he had a healthy respect for him bordering on fear. One could never really know with Sidney. He was a little unpredictable. </p><p>“What is it?” Sidney never gave Arthur the attention he deserved. He was the annoying little brother Diana doted on. Some ten years younger than him, they’d had little in common growing up, but now Sidney could see Arthur in a fresh light. Amusing, charming and always up for fun, he had acted to distract Lady Denham from her merciless interrogation of Georgiana. Sidney had let it continue, and had felt a little guilty that he had. But his mind had wandered rather during the luncheon.<br/>“You don’t seem to like Miss Lambe, Sidney?” Arthur hesitated to go on.</p><p>“I don’t have to like her, Arthur. It’s my job to see she is brought up a lady and kept safe from pernicious influences.” Sidney felt mild irritation. Was Arthur going to join the band of people who seemed to call Sidney’s judgement into question? First it was that girl, then Babbers and Crowe and now his own brother. Was there some sort of conspiracy going on between them? <br/>“Well I think you ought to have spoken for her Sidney. Lady Denham was quite unkind.”</p><p>“And London Society isn’t? The sooner she learns how to answer back, the better it will be for her. I won’t be around forever. She comes of age in two years.”</p><p>“You’ll abandoned her then, will you? Cease to care, if in fact you care at all?”</p><p>Sidney felt annoyance at the suggestion he didn’t care, because in fact, it was completely true, he didn’t much care. Sidney found it hard to care about anything really, except for himself and his own pleasures. He did his duty by his family and to Mr Lambe, but had he been asked to be Georgiana’s guardian, he would have flatly refused. He had never wanted to care for anyone, except himself. </p><p>“Sidney, I wonder if I might, well, if you don’t mind, perhaps I could, umm, befriend her?” Sidney patted Arthur on the shoulder. </p><p>“I’m sure she would like that very much. What better friend could she have? And as you have raised it, I wonder if I could ask a favour? Could you look out for her for me? There’s a good fellow. I hope to leave Sanditon soon and I don’t except to come back.”</p><p>For the briefest moment Sidney thought he saw tears in Arthur’s eyes, but he dismissed it. Probably just the howling gale whipping up from over the cliffs. Nonetheless he extended a small gesture of affection.</p><p>“Join me Arthur. We will celebrate leaving this forgotten hole together.” He extended his hand to Arthur and indicated his carriage. Arthur shook his head, but smiled a rueful smile. </p><p>Sidney jumped into the small gig, shouted a cheery goodbye and raced off after Babbington, leaving Arthur and his thoughts behind. He caught up with the other carriage swiftly and shouted across to Crowe. </p><p>“Babbers is the worst carriage driver, take the reigns Crowe and give me a proper race.” Sidney urged on his horses with a loud “Yaharr”, and overtook his friends.</p><p>Back in the Tavern he started on the first bottle of wine and awaited their arrival. </p><p>“What an appalling woman! Do you really think the red head is worth that! Forever related to a harridan who no doubt will hate you as much as she hates everyone else.” Crowe flung himself down into the seat beside Sidney and helped himself to the wine. <br/>“I thought that went rather well. I’m pretty sure Lady Denham is won over. A letter perhaps, expressing my interest.” Babbington was full of good humour. Time spent beside Miss Denham at luncheon had fanned the flames of his ardour. He was not to be put off, regardless of how much Miss Denham treated him with complete contempt.</p><p>“And you a peer of the realm. She should be worshipping at your feet Babbers. You are worth thirty times what Lady D has.” Sidney chuckled. He enjoyed the hilarity between his friends. It also meant no attention was focussed in him and the rather disastrous episode. Until.</p><p>“And Sidney, what on earth did you say to that poor sweet creature? Or was it the black eye that put her off?”  Babbington leant towards him to touch the swelling above his right eye. Sidney flinched and moved away.</p><p>“Does it show?” Sidney touched his brow gingerly. It had started to throb now that Babbington had called attention to it. <br/>“Oddly it didn’t when we sat down to eat, but part way through the third course there was no mistaking it. It turned from red to purple in a matter of minutes.” Ever the helpful friend Babbington was politely inflicting serious embarrassment. Crowe dispensed with all niceties. </p><p>“It wasn’t the eye, Babbers, it was when soup dribbled from the corner of his mouth back onto his plate that the dear girl looked as if she might faint.” Crowe was far too smug for Sidney’s liking.</p><p>“Liar!” Sidney was a little too loud and the landlord of the Tavern looked over concerned. One fight in his Tavern was quite enough for one day. </p><p>“And what did you speak about to Miss Heywood in such an animated fashion Crowe? I didn’t think she would be your type at all.” Babbington’s tone was teasing, and he grinned like a monkey. Sometimes his friends really were quite intolerable, Sidney thought as he gritted his teeth.</p><p>“We had a very substantial conversation about Sanditon and architecture, if you must know. She’s very knowledgeable.” Crowe was jovial but wary. He kept a close eye on Sidney, but couldn’t help continue. “At least I refrained from making an ungentlemanly suggestion Sidney.”</p><p>“What makes you think I did?” Came the terse reply from Sidney, who was starting to feel quite unwell. His lip stung when he sipped wine, although he knew six or seven glasses and he’d feel right as rain again. His head throbbed and he wondered if indeed his eye was black or whether this was just another ruse.</p><p>“When a lady says ‘But not with me. Pray’, I can only surmise you suggested a little indoor exercise? I bet she’d be a lively handful in bed.”</p><p>Sidney slammed down his glass. Wine spilled. Silence fell. The landlord of the Tavern appeared.</p><p>“I suggest gentlemen that you drink elsewhere this afternoon. On your way now.” A stout man, the landlord stood impervious even to Babbington’s beseeching. </p><p>“Well this is the most miserable hosterly I’ve ever been in. It’s still your round Parker.” Grumpily Crowe stood and followed Babbington and Sidney out of the Tavern. </p><p>Outside Sidney breathed the fresh salted air. He needed time alone. His body ached and he was in no mood to be provoked further. </p><p>“The Crowne it is then.” Babbington strode towards the hotel.</p><p>“No you go on, I need some fresh air and bracing exercise.” Sidney walked in the opposite direction. He heard Crowe call out to him. “I heard her turn you down, you know. You’ll be exercising alone.” Sidney didn’t turn, but a grin spread over his face. Crowe was quite the card. </p><p>Sidney took long paces over the soft dunes, his feet sinking into the dry golden sand, as if to delay him, or even keep him there forever. Crowe’s words echoed in his mind and lifted Sidney’s spirits. He contemplated the look on Miss Heywood’s face had he infact made an improper suggestion over luncheon. It wasn’t unknown. There had been many an encounter when such a suggestion had been well received. Generally by more worldly women, and not sweet little farm girls. If she was just an innocent farm girl. There was a possibility, being brought up in the country she had seen things and done things other ladies may not have. It was said that the country was different to town. Everyone knew everybody, and thus they mingled more freely. Sidney found the thought of Miss Heywood being worldly very stimulating and he was glad to arrive at the Coves when he did. As he disrobed his mind continued to wander. What if he hadn’t asked her to share her opinion but rather share something more intimate. Sidney laughed to himself and put his good humour down to the effects of the half bottle of wine. With his clothes thrown carelessly over a rock, he walked naked into the sea. The fine fresh breeze tickled him and the waves rushed to greet and embrace him. The first great shock of the cold invigorated him and his body stung then tingled warm all over. The tide bore him up and the currents played over his naked limbs. This was why he returned, time and again. The freedom of the sea, the exhilarating thrill of the waves tossing him up and pulling him down. The aches in his limbs subsided. His head cleared, his lip no longer stung and his eye did not throb. Sidney submerged himself in the cool clear water and allowed his mind to explore the idea of little Miss Heywood, temptress sent to please him. </p><p>As he came up for air, and looked towards the beach he wasn’t at all sure if she was in reality actually standing there before him, or was this just a trick of his mind. Was it her? He continued to advance towards her, since that was the last instruction to his legs, before the vision of her came to his sea filled eyes. Too many thoughts crowded his mind, for him to stop that instruction to his body. But then the look of horror on her face made Sidney stop. Advancing on a Lady in a state of total nakedness was not done. In a flash she ran from him and Sidney watched as she gathered her skirts, showing much more than just her ankles, with her hair flying. He could not contain his chuckle. His question was answered. She had not been a worldly farm girl, but after his revelation she was no longer the innocent either.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Suppressing his mirth as best he could, Sidney dressed himself, battling with his clothes catching on wet skin. He almost toppled over as he attempted to drag his breeches up over his damp thighs. He thought it prudent to dress swiftly in case he was seen by anymore young ladies. Revealing himself to one was quite enough and she might possibly return with an audience. <br/>He half walked, half ran back to the Crowne hoping to find Crowe and Babbington had left for London. But no such luck. Both had been waylaid by a couple of serving girls looking to make some extra money. Sidney waited for their return to the bar. Crowe was the first to appear, with a woman as old if not older than Diana. Sidney tried to hide the smirk as the couple said a touching goodbye and Crowe slipped several coins into the woman’s hand. </p><p>“Crowe, you rogue. Why are you still in this dull old place?”</p><p>“No point in rushing off when there is still fun to be had. And besides, we were waiting for you.” Crowe sat down heavily as if exhausted and waved for more wine.</p><p>Sidney grinned and downed a large glass himself. If they weren’t leaving for London now and soon it would be too late to travel, he would make sure he enjoyed himself by at least blotting out where he was. They were almost half way through their second bottle when Babbington appeared.</p><p>“Well, don’t you look flushed!” Crowe could not contain himself. Babbington just giggled.</p><p>“I thought I’d never leave my bed.” He bowed graciously towards a young woman who blushed before disappearing quickly. “Sidney I could get used to Sanditon. It’s really quite remarkable.” Sidney shot him a look of absolute contempt.</p><p>The wine flowed and the evening continued, with Sidney expressing his preference for London and deciding whatever happened with Babbers or Crowe, he at least would return home in the morning. With or without them. </p><p>Together they discussed their plans for the summer season. Babbington invited Sidney and Crowe to stay at his country estate when hunting began. To avoid the unspeakably tedious coming out period of London parties, when every young fresh debutante was unleashed on society in a desperate hope of finding a husband, the friends decided an extended European tour would be fun. </p><p>“Let us swim the Hellespont.” Sidney stood up unsteadily with his glass waving about.</p><p>“Let us visit Rome.” Babbington took to his feet and clashed glasses with Sidney. </p><p>“We will live as the poets do, debauched and drunk.” Crowe declined to stand to raise a toast as he was unable to feel his legs, but waved his glass with enthusiasm. </p><p>“Is that not the usual for you Crowe?” Babbington was still the least drunk of the three and making the most sense.<br/>“What about the redhead Babbers. Will you give up that chase? It’s a futile pursuit.” Sidney didn’t want his best friend losing his heart to a woman in Sanditon and potentially dragging them all back there again and again. </p><p>“I shall write to her and perhaps she will answer me. Then I will decide. But what about you Sidney and that sweet Miss Heywood? You can give up the pretence, you know.”</p><p>“Well, I’m pretty sure she does not care for me. She takes exception to everything I say and do. And she isn’t quite as sweet as she seems.” Sidney could feel the colour rising in his cheeks when he recalled the afternoon at the Coves. And now he had Babbington and Crowe’s full attention. </p><p>“Meaning what exactly? Do tell.” Babbers looked mischievously intrigued. Crowe grinned.</p><p>“I knew it. You propositioned her.”</p><p>“Err, not quite. She ambushed me in fact. Quite unfairly. I was sea bathing at the Coves. When I surfaced I found her standing beside my clothes waiting for me to emerge.”</p><p>“Goodness Sidney!” Babbington looked seriously shocked, while Crowe roared with laughter, rearing backwards in his chair until he topped right over and lay splayed out on the floor still shaking with laughter. </p><p>Helping Crowe back on to his chair Babbington was still serious.</p><p>“Are we to expect a wedding?”</p><p>“Not a chance, Babbers. We had a short conversation lacking in any curtesy. She told me in no uncertain terms I was not the prize she was after. And this was after she’d seen the prize.” Sidney wasn’t sure his self disparaging tone was jovial to amuse his friends or if he was genuinely uncomfortable with the whole episode. “Either way Miss Heywood is no longer the sweet little thing we thought.” Sidney reverted to a mischievous smirk. The look of absolute horror on her face, made him smile once again. She had obviously never seen a full grown naked man before. He was sure that image would stay with her. And for some reason he quite enjoyed that. </p><p>The rest of the evening drifted into a haze of port, brandy and finally whisky, until the trio could hardly lift themselves from their chairs. Babbington crawled onto a chaise. Crowe found himself a comfortable spot under a table and Sidney slumped forward and stretched out on the table, mildly irritated that it was swimming with wine, but too inebriated to move. He was woken in the morning by a hearty slap on the back from Babbington. Sidney found his face was stuck to the table. He peeled his cheek gingerly off the sticky wood and groaned. </p><p>“If I do not leave Sanditon today and never return, just shoot me. Shoot me now.” </p><p>“I may feel it, but Sidney, you look like hell.” Crowe so admired Sidney’s looks. He own features leant more toward endearing rather than classically handsome. Being beside Sidney ensured he did rather well with the ladies. First they would be disparaged by Sidney, and then turn for reassurance and comfort to the next best thing, himself. Many a young lady had rather flung herself at Crowe, after experiencing the sharp tongue of Mr Parker. But today Sidney really did look worse for wear. The bruising from the fight was out in full. The grain of the rough table had imprinted across his skin giving him an oddly wrinkled look, to one side of his face. His usually perfect attire was dishevelled. For once Crowe felt on a par with Sidney. </p><p>They packed quickly and headed for their carriages. Just outside of the Crowne, Babbington stopped in his tracks. Sidney and Crowe bowled right into him.  </p><p>“What is it now?” Sidney’s tone was impatient with hint of pain in his voice. Moving was painful. Crashing into Babbers, made his head throb all the more. </p><p>“Look who it is Sidney. Perhaps you’d like to make amends for yesterday’s unseemly exhibition?”</p><p>There before him, once again, was Miss Heywood. This time with Clara Brereton in tow. They were strolling together, arm in arm until Miss Heywood spotted Sidney. She veered dramatically away towards the bun shop and stood with her back blatantly towards him. It was a show of deliberate rudeness which only served to compound the embarrassment all round. Sidney considered ducking back into the Crowne but Crowe stood firmly in his way. </p><p>Clara turned to the gentlemen, curtsied prettily, winked at Crowe and turned back as she was dragged into the bun shop by Miss Heywood, who did not look around. </p><p>“Well you’ve certainly made an impression Sidney, not a good one it seems. If your physique cannot entice a lady, she’s hardly going to be drawn to your character.” Babbington’s eyes twinkled. He enjoyed watching Sidney squirm for a change. Despite his riches, his peerage, which he took seriously and his estate which was at times was quite hard work, or rather because of these things Babbington had been a little envious of Sidney who appeared to sail through life unburdened by few cares or worries. It wasn’t until these last days in Sanditon that Babbington realised Sidney had burdens too. His feral ward, his unstable and unreliable brother and his inability to successfully arrange his romantic life, preferring instead to hold his unrequited love for Eliza as an unchallengeable relationship never to be repeated, or even bettered. Babbington felt a little sorry for his old friend, now struggling so obviously with feelings he knew nothing about. Crowe pointed out the obvious.</p><p>“Goodness man, you’re blushing like a maiden who’s seen an appendage for the first time.”</p><p>“I should never have told you.” Growled Sidney under his breath.</p><p>Rather than wait a moment longer Sidney took his chance and made for the stables. He climbed into the Phaeton and with enormous relief he set his horses in motion and aimed for the road to London. He shouted as he flew past his friends.</p><p>“See you back in London. We have merry making to catch up on!” Dust flew up and Sidney’s Phaeton disappeared up the street. <br/>Babbington watched as he went, then tipped his hat to Miss Brereton and Miss Heywood as she tentatively emerged from the bun shop. </p><p>Several hours later a dusty and tired Sidney sank into a warm bath back in Bedford Place. He was determined to wash the remaining remnants of Sanditon from his body and mind.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Days passed. Sidney slipped easily back into London life. He enjoyed some horse racing. He went hunting, and rode out with hounds. He was invited to the best houses and estates. Sidney was always in high demand despite his occasional grumpy demeanour. In society, when not plagued by Tom or frivolous young ladies, Sidney was great company. He was witty, charming and jovial. Babbington and Crowe marvelled at his compete personality change.</p><p>“Back to your old self Sidney!” Babbington could not help but comment. Sidney didn’t mind. He was in London, Tom was in Sanditon and all was well in the world once more. Now if he could just run into Eliza, his joy would be unconfined. Sidney decided to enlist the help of his most well connected friend. He drew Babbington to one side at a tedious musical evening. <br/>“Babbers, are you sure we are being seen in the right places? I just would have expected to run into Mrs Campion by now. Surely you must know the right doors to knock?”</p><p>“I would give up that hunt Sidney. You aren’t that young boy anymore and I doubt very much she is the same young girl she once was.” Babbington was wise, but this wasn’t the answer Sidney wanted at all. </p><p>Coming home in the early hours of the morning, after another evening imbibing and carousing, but not finding Eliza, Sidney found a letter waiting for him. Placed on his bedside table for him to find before falling into bed. Curse those overzealous servants. They could have given him the letter over breakfast tomorrow rather than disturb him now with whatever news it contained. </p><p>Sidney considered not opening it. What good would it do, reading it now. It could wait until he rose later. He played with the small envelope as he sat on the edge of his bed. It was no good. He wouldn’t sleep if he didn’t read it, and seeing as it was in Mary’s hand it probably contained news that would stop him sleeping anyway. He opened it.</p><p>Dearest Sidney, <br/>I hope this finds you well. Sadly I cannot say the same. Since your departure from Sanditon Tom has quite disappeared. I wonder if he has jumped ship? He said he knew exactly what would draw people to Sanditon and off he rushed taking the carriage and footman. He hasn’t been seen since. It’s been over a week now. I don’t suppose he’s turned up at Bedford Place has he? If you have any news about my wayward husband I would be most grateful. <br/>My care and love to you, my sensible Parker brother,<br/>Mary.</p><p>The pulse in Sidney’s temple threatened to explode. Where the hell was that brother of his? How irresponsible of him to go off without sending word of his whereabouts. It was no good. Come first light Sidney would head back to Sanditon. With only a matter of hours before dawn he laid in his bed and attempted sleep. But sleep eluded him. He wondered where Tom might be and how he could track him down. He wondered how long it would take him and when he could return to London. In the drawing room was a long sought after invitation to a dinner being given by none other than Lady Worcester herself. It was a party he did not wish to miss. The cream of London society positively revolved around Lady Worcester. If Eliza would turn up anywhere it would be there.</p><p>As Sidney drifted in and out of a light sleep he found himself wondering, not about Eliza, but instead if he would encounter Miss Heywood on his return. It was rather inevitable since she resided in Tom’s house. But there was every possibility she had gone home to her village by now. Even she was bound to find Sanditon dreary eventually. </p><p>Sidney shook himself awake. Why on earth was he considering Miss Heywood? He shook his head, as if to dislodge her from it. The first glimmer of the suns rays were rising and the dawn chorus was loud and annoying. Sidney dragged himself out of bed. Rather than wake the staff for a carriage, he decided to ride all the way on his favoured horse. He was bound to get stuck in Sanditon for a day or so, which would give him and the horse ample time to rest. </p><p>Feeling more than put upon, Sidney took the road out of London and soon found himself walking his tired horse into Sanditon. He was becoming such a familiar face that the locals would tip their hat to him, women would curtesy and blush. Sidney scowled. He gave his horse to Tom’s stable boy and walked into the house finding it quite deserted. </p><p>Sidney felt rather more annoyed than he had expected. Here he was, the gallant hero, riding all the way from London and no one was at home to greet him, or notice. No matter, he told himself. He wandered into the study and over towards Tom’s desk. Perhaps he would find some clues to where he had disappeared to. Sidney sat down in the chair and picked over Tom’s papers. It was remarkably well organised which was unexpected. There was a pile of bills, some invoices, delivery notes, rental payments and receipts, and on top of the largest pile, a request for payment from the insurers, for cover of the building of the terrace. Well that all seemed to be well in hand. Sidney sighed with relief. Tom appeared to be very much in compete control. <br/>At that moment he heard footsteps descending the main stairs. Realising it would possibly be Miss Heywood, Sidney quickly took up a nonchalant pose with his feet up on the desk, looking for all the world like he was Lord and master of the house. <br/>“Mr Parker.” Her greeting was short and lacking in any curtesy. Sidney felt himself inhale and hold his breath.</p><p>“The ubiquitous Miss Heywood. I might have guessed I’d find you here.” Sidney had glanced up and noted her hair, normally flying free and curling around her face was under control and in a elegant bun, but her face showed the usual contempt. He glanced quickly away and his eyes focussed closely on a piece of paper he held in his hand. He had no idea what it was. <br/>“I didn’t expect you back here so soon.” She seemed to almost snarl at him and Sidney wondered what he could have said to her to prompt such a reaction. Surely putting her in her place at the ball had been forgotten by now? </p><p>“Believe me neither did I.” Even to Sidney’s own ears he sounded jaded and weary. </p><p>There was a moment of silence between them. Sidney stood up from the desk and faced Miss Heywood, who stood her ground, her face unreadable to him. At least the scowl on her face had gone. </p><p>And then.<br/>“Sidney! Marvellous, marvellous! What brings you to Sanditon?” Tom stood before him, bright eyed and bristling with excited energy. </p><p>A loud exasperated sigh came from Sidney.</p><p>“You, Tom. Mary sent word you were missing. Persumed dead. She was unfortunately incorrect.” Sidney wasn’t angry, as at least now he didn’t have to scour nearby towns to find Tom, he was merely exasperated. An emotion Tom always elicited. <br/>The afternoon passed slowly, with Tom exuberantly describing what exactly what he’d achieved on his disappearance. <br/>“And this afternoon Dr Fuchs will display his wares and treatments for us all to wonder at. Lady Denham will give him an audience. I expect you there Sidney!”</p><p>Sidney couldn’t imagine a worse way to pass the time. These mountibanks were ten a penny in London. He’d seen them at fares and even smart garden parties demonstrating all sorts of useless contraptions and evil smelling unctions. And now Tom had dragged one of them to Sanditon.</p><p>“You don’t need me Tom.” </p><p>“Is an hour too much to ask brother?” Sidney could never resist the beseeching tone of Tom’s voice. He didn’t agree but he didn’t put up any further fight.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sidney lay on his back staring up at the faded canopy of his bed in the Crowne. An empty bottle of port lay beside him. He’d drunk it quickly in the hope of inducing sleep. After the day he’d had, all he wanted was deep obliterating slumber where nothing and no one could reach him. Instead his bed tilted and listed gently just as the ship had on his journey across the seas to Antigua. Curse the port, he should have bought whisky for it’s soporific qualities. The bottle he’d drunk had only managed to make him giddy. </p><p>Each time Sidney closed his eyes he saw the gut wrenching sight of blood gushing from the open wound of Old Stringer’s leg. His stomach contracted violently. Sidney fixed his eyes open, but even then visions of the jagged edge of bone sticking through the skin made his insides turn out and he convulsed into a ball. </p><p>He’d seen wounds like that before. Worse even. And he knew what the outcome would be. Festering gangrene, a smell so vile men were able to saw their own limbs off. Followed days later by the loss of blood and merciful death. And it was all Tom’s fault. <br/>Sidney had no desire to lay awake all night, waiting for first light when he could leave for London again. He had to control his thoughts. He conjured up his memories and since it was late spring, he thought of the bluebell Wood he and Eliza would picnic in. The carpet of vivid blue punctured only by the white bark of the silver birch trees. They would lay under the trees in the dabbled shade talking about their future together. How Sidney would make his fortune and purchase Sanditon House from Lord Denham. They would hold elaborate masked parties for London Society. Eliza would host the most sought after balls, that even the Regent would desire an invitation to. The memory of those faraway days soothed him, as he remembered leaning towards Eliza in the hope she would accept a kiss. But she would always just slip out of reach at the last moment. She was a lady and was determined to remain so. </p><p>The earsplitting screams of Old Stringer came to mind again. Sidney was wide awake. The horrific afternoon played out in his head once again. </p><p>The so called doctor had demonstrated his contraption to Lady D. As far as Sidney could see, it was all a ruse to get a young lady to remove her clothes in company. Clara Brereton had been all too happy to oblige. Announcing loudly that he’d seen quite enough, Sidney had marched out. He walked back to town over the cliffs and across the beach. The fresh breeze and sunshine had enlivened his soul and he was looking forward to collecting his horse and riding home to London at a fair pace. The waves were high and topped with bright white crests. They sparkled in the sun and the rushing sound called to him. Was there time? There was always time for sea bathing. The one and only good thing to come out of his visit to Sanditon. </p><p>Sidney stood in the shadow of the cliffs and removed his clothing quickly. He kept a wary eye for onlookers and walkers. Certain he was alone, he ran swiftly to the breaking waves and threw himself into their swell. His spirits soared as his body was thrown up and tumbled in the rolling surge towards the sand. How he loved the power of the sea. He swam strongly further out and floated weightlessly allowing all his irritations to be washed from him. Tom and that silly doctor. Cantankerous Lady D, and Diana and Arthur hanging on his every word. </p><p>Feeling cleansed by the chilly waters, Sidney slipped from the waves and back onto dry land. He dressed speedily, and took large gambolling paces back from the sands into town. </p><p>And then it had happened. The bloodcurdling scream of agony and Sidney had rushed to its source. He wished he’d been able to ignore it. Turn away even. Take his horse and ride quickly for London. But that wasn’t his way, as much as he wished he could be so unfeeling. How much easier his life would be if he had been so. </p><p>Before he had even seen the injury to Old Stringer Sidney’s eyes were settled on Miss Heywood. She knelt on the ground in the dirt, beside Old Stringer, soothing him gently and checking his wounds. When she had started to tug at her underskirts Sidney felt hopelessly lost as the scene played out before him. Infront of him was the grotesque sight of Stringer’s broken leg, and beside him the vision of a stockinged calf and a flurry of lace. Sidney was strangely transfixed. Almost before Miss Heywood had finished her request for help, his hands had gripped the fabric of her underskirts and torn a length away. In so doing his fingers had trailed briefly down her leg and the warm feel of her limb remained. The sound of the ripping fabric echoed in his ears. A smile crept over Sidney’s lips. How strange it was that ladies seemed to enjoy having their clothes torn from their bodies. The sound of a small tear made in haste when fastenings were stubborn, always seemed to excite. There would be a gasp followed by a small exclamation. Sidney thought he’d heard Miss Heywood gasp as he’d torn her clothes. He was certain of it. The tingling sensation he got whenever he recalled her face on seeing his brazen nakedness, came back to him. She had definitely gasped as he touched her leg.</p><p>Try as he might he could not quite dislodge the image of that bloodied leg and the sickening cry when the doctor aided by several strong men, had reset it. Until he thought of Miss Heywood. Many times during the tortuous ordeal he had looked across at her. Her face was serious but not repulsed. She had not been scared at the sight of all that blood. When she had returned his gaze, her worried expression seemed to soften, as if she drew strength from him. When in fact seeing her give such a good and calm account for herself, had stilled Sidney’s tattered nerves. If she could remain controlled in the face of such adversity then Sidney could too. </p><p>After what felt like an eternity holding the poor man still while the doctor worked, Sidney finally escaped the stuffy drawing room of Trafalgar House, and found Young Stringer outside holding tightly to the bare hands of Miss Heywood. The scene jumbled his thoughts. He felt sympathy for Young Stringer who had looked deathly pale and so very frightened, and now seemed joyous with relief. No wondered he had grasped Miss Heywood’s hands. Sidney understood exactly why. He’d have done the same, if his reputation had allowed it. But the lingering touch also annoyed Sidney. This man should know his place and not behave is such an ungentlemanly fashion, just because of an horrific accident. Decorum should still be maintained. And he should know touching a lady in such a familiar way was not done. The image of their entwined hands stayed with Sidney as he started to walk away.</p><p>In the bright sunlight and he breathed deeply, then stopped and turned around. Would she still be there? A slow smile crept over Sidney’s lips when he saw she was indeed standing there as if waiting for him to approach her. He took some tentative steps towards her. Not too close, in case of drawing out that disapproving look she often threw his way. Sidney thanked her for her efficiency and calmness and found his senses lighten as she smiled warmly but also teasingly, at him. The first smile he’d seen on her face just for him, since the night of the ball. The night he’d so rudely dealt with her when she had made what was probably just a poor attempt at flirtatiousness. After a long moment when words had failed them both and her eyes had fixed on his, making his knees feel like jelly, he’d torn himself away, only because he had no idea what he should do next. </p><p>After the awful afternoon, he actually wanted to embrace her, hold her tight to him, to rid himself of the shock and horror they had witnessed together. With that sweet smile playing on her lips he’d been drawn to kiss her. He knew that was out of the question. What better way to receive again that look of distain and displeasure. So walking swiftly away seemed the best option.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Of course he missed Lady Worcester’s dinner. After failing to sleep most of the night as dawn broke Sidney slumbered deeply, until early afternoon. He woke with a crashing headache and illadvisedly climbed straight onto his horse to ride back to London as quickly as he could. The journey was arduous with spring showers soaking him and his horse. Ebony was still not quite recovered from the journey to Sanditon and played up on the way back. She stopped to munch on hedgerows and stumbled occasionally on the rough tracks. She even refused to cross a Ford and Sidney had to find a dryer route. They got back to London late evening. Too late for the dinner. Arriving once guests had sat at the table was a complete faux pas. <br/>Miserable, tired and now hungry Sidney sought company at his club. </p><p>Crowe was in residence as he was most evenings, partially inebriated and holding court with his crowd of wealthy untitled young men who seemed to make money like they drank. Quickly and consistently without much effort. Sidney settled into a chair to listen to their tales while he filled his stomach with roasted pork, hot buttered toast and crumpets. </p><p>To close the evening, after wagers had been made and cards played, Sidney ducking iout of these games, his head was just too distracted and weary, the gentlemen moved on to their usual haunt. Mrs Harries’ boarding house. As each of his companions selected their choice of female companion Sidney sat unmoved. Yes, they were all comely and pretty but in a worldly way. Their eyes too knowing and without wonder. Their charms too obvious and their ways too contrived. He waved them away distractedly and settled on whisky. Mrs Harries looked concerned. </p><p>“I have some new young ladies who could tempt you Mr Parker?”</p><p>“Thank you madam, but I’m not here for that. Just ensure my glass is kept refilled.” </p><p>A half bottle later, Crowe and his friends were ready for their next entertainment. Sidney just wanted his bed. They bundled him into a carriage and he was sent home. Sidney in a stupor was not Crowe’s idea of fun. </p><p>Days passed. Garden parties seemed to be the thing. Starting in the early sun down and continuing during the candle lit night, Sidney half enjoyed these informal soirées. Less stuffy than dinners, there was more scope to mingle freely but there was still no sign, nor gossip of Eliza. </p><p>Sidney did not feel himself. Something was amiss. Babbington was similarly out of sorts and came to Bedford Square one morning. </p><p>“I’ve received a letter from Miss Denham, Sidney. I’ve taken great heart from it. I think we should travel to Sanditon immediately.” </p><p>Sidney tried very hard to hide his pleasure at the suggestion. This was exactly what he wanted. Hearing those words from Babbington, ‘travel to Sanditon immediately’, excited him. That was what he needed too, he just hadn’t understood his own restlessness. He wasn’t going to let Babbers know however.</p><p>“I’ll accompany you to Sanditon Babbers, but only at your behest. Since you are in romantic need, you’ll require me at your side to steer you. Shall we bring Crowe too?” </p><p>All was set for the journey the next day. Sidney chose to ride with Babbington. A closed carriage was certainly much more comfortable than an open one and his nethers had not yet recovered from his ride. </p><p>The gentlemen arrived mid day and disembarked in the square.</p><p>“A more disagreeable hostelry I’ve never come across. Your round Parker.” Crowe had not been pleased at the prospect of more time in Sanditon, but Babbington had directed his carriage to Bond Street nonetheless. He’d been persuaded by the promise of not purchasing a single drink for the whole escapade. It was still quite reluctantly that he joined the party. <br/>“No, I’m going to check on Tom. I’ll see you both later.” </p><p>With a spring in his step Sidney walked the short distance out of Trafalgar House to Mrs Griffiths’ rented lodgings. The house Sidney had secured for her school. A safe place to bring Georgiana, after that trouble in London. </p><p>Tea with Mary had been pleasant enough and he was relieved Tom wasn’t at home, but he couldn’t help feeling a little disappointed that Miss Heywood was also out. He’d tried to appear as unconcerned as possible when asking after her whereabouts. Luckily Mary was immune to any thoughts of ulterior motives. Sidney knew she was a wholly innocent soul who would never think he was trying to gain any information from her. Mary was too good and too pure, to think ill of him. She happily told him how Charlotte was spending more time with Georgiana. The thought of the two young women together pleased him. Georgiana needed a steadying influence, a reliable and ladylike older sister to steer her through difficult times. Miss Heywood was by all accounts as well brought up and discerning as any lady he had met. She could be relied upon to behave appropriately on all occasions. Too headstrong maybe and perhaps also too opinionated, but a lady all the same. One he could trust with Georgiana’s welfare. Yes, it was pleasing indeed that they had become friends... </p><p>Sidney stood on the cliffs looking out across the sand in vain. Where was that blasted girl? And why had they both lied to Mrs Griffiths? Georgiana he could understand. She was used to living freely and didn’t understand societal restrictions were for her own good. Sidney forgave Georgiana her feral behaviour. She didn’t know any better and Sidney didn’t know how to teach her. Who he could not forgive was Miss Heywood. How stupid he had been to be taken in by her. Sidney felt loss. She had given such a good account of herself during Stringer’s accident. And here she was just days later, lying to a governess to abscond with his ward. What sort of mischief would these two get up to? Knowing little of the workings of young ladies minds, Sidney could not imagine. A trip to the seamstress or cobbler perhaps? Why the need to lie? Or more staring at the window of the bun shop. Miss Heywood’s favoured spot when trying to avoid him. Sidney headed for town…</p><p>Humiliated. That’s how he felt. Sidney sat on a lush tuft of grass in a small gulley in the cliffs. It was a spot he often came to as a child when he needed time alone, usually away from Tom. He could hide there for hours, watching the waves below and the clouds scud across the sky. The sheer drop beneath him, never concerned him. He felt perfectly safe, although he remembered how horrified his mother was when he told her where he’d been all afternoon. He lay back against the almost vertical grassy bank and stared at the sky.</p><p>She’d left him with no doubt what she thought of him. The mimicry had been painful. Hands on her hips, pretending to draw on a cigarette, even the intonation of her words, were, he had to admit, fairly accurate. Sidney squirmed internally. Then he reconsidered her words to him. As if the colour of Molyneux’s skin had anything to do with it. He was a retrobate, a gambler with debts all over London. But she wasn’t to know that. She’d made her assumptions once more and found him wanting. He was furious at first. Being laughed at publicly. Then rather than slip away embarrassed, she’d chased after him ranting about his worst kind of predjudice. Accusing him of judgments, when in fact it was her judgement that was entirely false. </p><p>As his fears for Georgiana’s safety abated, so did his anger. Molyneux wouldn’t dare try to see Georgiana in Sanditon again. That episode could now be closed. He would keep the counsel he paid to watch Molyneux all the same. One just never knows. <br/>Georgiana was safe, but Sidney felt a familiar tearing at his heart. How had he let that happen? He’d promised himself never again and this opinionated, head strong girl who by all accounts could not stand the sight of him, now made him feel; what exactly? That his life was a pretence, when all he really wanted was a wife, so he could give up his ‘high society dandy friends’. Didn’t everyone live with a certain element of pretence? He was the unknowable outlier, a reputation he enjoyed maintaining. It wasn’t really a pretence. He just didn’t fit anywhere. And today more than ever Sidney didn’t know where to go. </p><p>He was in no mood to banter with cocksure Crowe after several helpings of his favoured brandy, and Babbington could see straight through his thin skin and recognise the hurt below. Sidney slipped back into Sanditon using the back streets so no one would see him. He entered the kitchen of Trafalgar House and mercifully found it empty of staff. </p><p>At last Sidney had peace. Hidden somewhere in plain sight. No one would look for him in Trafalgar House. As the light faded, Sidney climbed the back stairs hoping to reach his boyhood room, but as the stair treads creaked under foot he heard voices and sat down to avoid detection. The voice he heard was Tom’s, moderate, conciliatory and kind.</p><p>“I am certain he will forgive you my dear.” </p><p>“But I’ve always been so certain, of my own judgement. And now, this conundrum, that cannot be solved. His anger Mr Parker. I’m so sorry.”</p><p>“Sidney is a remarkable man. Far too peppery for some, but a conundrum can be solved. Do not concern yourself Charlotte. All is well and no harm was done.”</p><p>Tom’s dismissal of the situation Charlotte had been no small a part of, annoyed Sidney. There could have been quite serious harm, to Georgiana, being seen in the company of that rogue. But Sidney mellowed a little. Her pleading voice had touched him. Miss Heywood sounded contrite and embarrassed. He would take it as an apology for her outlandish behaviour towards him. </p><p>Sidney crept silently up the final flight of stairs and entered the room he still called his own, despite Tom now being the master of Trafagar House. He slept deeply and peacefully in the room he had grown up in. Now a little too small for his large manly frame, his bed felt comfortably familiar. The noises and smells, and the comforting textures of his surroundings cradled him into a sense of security only loved children feel.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Wild horses would not drag the truth from Sidney. Not even several bottles of port wine. Sidney the unknowable, was back. London society once more revolved around him like the cogs of a clock. It didn’t matter that it was a pretence. No one lived wholly without some pretence. Well, perhaps perfect Miss Heywood, with her judgments and opinions. But no one else. Crowe drank to forget his parents disinterest in him. The youngest of twelve, and still with enough money to live as the poets do, he pretended their lack of love for him was an irrelevance. And Babbington, with his peerage, trying so hard to do the right thing, rise to meet the expectation, to be as brilliant a politician as his father, and his father before him. Babbington’s pretence was that it didn’t matter, when Sidney knew it meant everything. </p><p>It was yet another evening of dance and wine and fine elustrious company. The gentlemen were a little tardy, and already drunk when they arrived. But committing such a solicism enhanced rather than tarnished their reputation. They laughed loudly, danced wildly, and were seen by everyone in the room. Sidney happened to overhear the name “Campion” and sobered immediately, listening closely. She had been there, and she had left. She was alone, save for several of her closest ladies. She hadn’t changed and was still quite the beauty. Sidney felt his heart fill, his breath lay deep in his lungs and his brow unfurrow. She was close. His time would come. Sidney went home happy. </p><p>He was awakened rudely early the next morning by his insistent butler. </p><p>“There are gentlemen, Sir, from the bank. They will not leave until they have spoken to you.”</p><p>Sidney rolled his eyes and realised that was a terrible mistake. His eyes seemed to stick on their journey to the ceiling, as a seering pain ran between his temples. </p><p>“Well they can wait until I am ready. Did they say what they wanted?” </p><p>“Not to me Sir. I can have one of the maids lay the fire and listen to them, if you wish?”</p><p>Sidney dressed and breakfasted at leisure in his chambers in the hope the bankers would grow tired of waiting and depart. He had no idea what they wanted. Had he forgotten a wager they were calling in? Did he owe someone money, that he’d forgotten? Or was there a long lost relative leaving an inheritance for him? </p><p>A generous amount of time later Sidney descended the main stairs and entered the library where the bankers remained waiting for him. They were displeased. </p><p>“Gentlemen. You have good news for me I can see.” Sidney’s jocular manner displeased them further. </p><p>“We have had several requests from Mr Tom Parker, your brother, asking for an extension to his credit. He has missed several of his repayments of late and we would like some surety for his debts. Perhaps you would care to meet the payments that are owed, Mr Parker? It would be a great pity if a scandal were to befall your family. It would have such a negative affect on the development of Sanditon.”</p><p>Sidney drew himself to his full height and stared down at the smirking bankers. They reminded him of rats. Dirty looking creatures, fearful but at the same time bold enough to find themselves in places and company where they were not at all welcome.</p><p>“Is that a threat gentlemen?” </p><p>“Oh no, Mr Parker. We do not threaten. It is a mere warning. We felt you’d wish to know.” The bankers shifted on their feet. Their bravado now starting to desert them, under Sidney’s steady glare. <br/>“How much does my brother owe?”</p><p>“His missed payments total £3000. So far.”</p><p>“You’ll have it by the morning. Now gentlemen if you don’t mind, you’ve taken up enough of my day. Good afternoon.”</p><p>The butler showed the men out and as the door closed behind them, Sidney sank weakly into his wingback chair. A loud sigh gushed from him as he deflated. </p><p>Beside him he saw the morning’s post and Tom’s familiar script. He groaned loudly. What did Tom want now? He only ever wrote with demands. </p><p>“Cricket! Oh yes please! Whites and tails. Miss Denham couldn’t fail to be impressed. I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” Babbington effervessed with excitement. “You’ll join us Crowe?”</p><p>“What again? I would rather howl at the moon.” Crowe growled. He’d been dragged to Sanditon far too many times of late, but quietly enjoyed watching both his friends make fools of themselves before young ladies. Nothing was really going to stop him accompanying them once more. </p><p>Sidney was in a grump. Tom’s letter mentioned nothing of the debts he had, or the missed payments. It just effused about the marvellous terrace and how it was almost completed. And to celebrate the virtual completion, there would be the annual cricket match, gentlemen versus workers. So typical of Tom. To celebrate something not quite finished and then comandeer the annual cricket match to do so. The match was a tradition started by their father to thank the villagers for their hard work for the Parker estate. Sidney wouldn’t miss it of course, but he wanted company and knew Babbers would be more than eager. </p><p>Babbington had continued to receive short missives from Miss Denham. What he had failed to notice was her hand had changed somewhat and her letters had become more curteous and less flippant. Sidney smirked to himself. He was well aware of the meddling Lady Denham was capable of. </p><p>With his trusted friends by his side, yet another trip to Sanditon was in the offing. This time Sidney wanted to see Tom and extract some answers from him. Truthful ones. </p><p>Sidney had the good fortune of accosting Tom at the terrace on his arrival in Sanditon. The air was heavy with tension and the workers stood around looking as if they would happily string Tom up from the nearest tree. </p><p>“Brother dear! Tom looked more the relieved to see him. “I am on strict orders to bring you straight to Trafalgar House, on Mary’s decree. Come along now.” Tom walked swiftly away from his angered employees and Sidney had to increase his stride and pace to catch up with him. </p><p>“What is it? What’s wrong with the men, Tom?” Sidney managed to catch him and stopped him walking on. They were going in completely the wrong direction.</p><p>Tom stood before him, wide eyed, pale with a sheen of anxiety across his face. He stammered.</p><p>“I am beset with worries Sidney. I have no way of paying the men. Please tell me you bring good news from the bank.” Sidney looked deep into Tom’s eyes and saw the fear that resides there. He sighed. What he had wanted to say to him, tell him what a monomaniac he was and how he would bankrupt them all, he realised he could not. Sidney mellowed. </p><p>“I have paid your missed instalments. The bank is happy.” Sidney placed his hand on Tom’s shoulder and gave him a brotherly shake. “There is no need to worry. We stand together.”</p><p>Tom collapsed a little, with relief. Then he remembered himself and stood straight once more.</p><p>“Splendid, splendid. I knew I could count on you brother dear. And I can count on you tomorrow at the cricket match too I hope?”</p><p>In truth, Sidney was rather looking forward to the cricket match. Babbington was right. White flannels and excited young ladies cheering them on. Perhaps even Miss Heywood would bless him with a smile.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. 12</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Too much had happened. Sidney’s head throbbed. With every bounce and thump of the carriage his head hurt more. What a ghastly afternoon it had turned out to be. And it all started so full of promise. </p><p>Sidney had even considered speaking to Miss Heywood. She looked so fresh and inviting in a light muslin dress. She’d run from him as he’d approached which rather pleased him. He found Arthur and as they conversed she’d walked by again. With the sun behind her this time, Sidney was able to see right through her dress. He drew deeply on his cigarette and committed the view of her thighs to memory for later. He watched her walk away and towards Young Stringer. Sidney chuckled to himself as he watched the typical young lady behaviour of flirting with the help. Stringer was a fine looking young man but not a gentleman. It didn’t bother Sidney that she gave Stringer her attention and very fetching smiles. Young ladies were allowed to practise their charms on men so far beneath them, they knew nothing could come of it. Anyway, she was most likely doing it to attract his, Sidney’s, attention and besides, Stringer wouldn’t know what a head strong girl she was. Completely unmanageable for someone of his station. </p><p>The cricket match had taken a turn for the worse and Tom’s behaviour, not for the first time in Sidney’s life, was inappropriate, ungentlmanly and quite frankly embarrassing. He failed to talk Tom into making amends and as he walked from the beach, Sidney turned back to face the town alone, a sick feeling in his stomach. Support came to him from the likely corner of Miss Heywood. She marched swiftly up the sands and wrapped her fingers around his cricket bat, holding it firmly in her small hand, while gazing steadily into his eyes. Even at that confused and tense moment, Sidney found his thoughts turning to things he ought not to be thinking in the middle of the day, in the middle of a cricket match, watched by the whole town. </p><p>The moment of victorious euphoria was so short lived. One moment a winning run and the next the frightening prospect that Georgiana had quite disappeared. Sidney shuddered. He’d run up the bank and over the dunes, through the town, back over the cliffs and then to Miss Griffiths lodgings, with the last remaining hope that perhaps Georgiana had just grown tired of the sport and had gone home. But it was not to be. </p><p>There was nothing missing from her room, so at least she had not planned to run off. Crocket was of no help. She lay weeping on the floor, beating her fists against the boards, between gulps of air and sobs of “mistress”. Sidney could not deal with a distraught maid. He needed clarity of thought. </p><p>When Miss Heywood appeared her presence immediately stilled him. Memories of her capability with Old Stringer triggered his calm. He breathed. He started to explain. But then he’d seen it. A look, an unmistakable look of guilt, of knowing. A look of treachery. </p><p>Exactly as before, she had shown herself to be untrustworthy, irresponsible and downright foolish. Sidney felt the heat of anger rise in him once again as he remembered the moment. But what good would it do. After she had confessed to being the gobetween for Georgiana and Molyneux, Sidney had left. Being in her presence was unbearable. Her slight frame trembling, the look of fear of him in her eyes, her attempt at a stuttered apology. It was all he could do not to strike out. Not at her, he could never strike a lady. But his fist itched and the wall looked tempting. Sidney ran from Mrs Griffiths’ parlour and straight to Trafalgar House. Shouting for the servants, he helped ready the horses. Tom weakly suggested he accompanied Sidney, but Sidney knew he didn’t mean it and would be more of a hinderance. Sidney travelled on into the night, and arriving in London, he found the desolutes he paid to watch Molyneux. They had little to tell. He frequented a tavern in Honey Lane. He lodged close by, taking rooms close to the river with several other young merchants. Sidney told Hodges to wait in the safer, lit square, as he walked the final few narrow streets to Honey Lane. The air had a heaviness to it. The chill of ne’er do wells, mixed with the stench of rotten cabbage and fermented ale. Sidney stepped along the alleyway all too aware he was alone and quite obviously a target for thieves. He held his cane tightly and kept his wits keen. It was there in the almost darkness he found a lady set upon and having dealt with the assailant, he pulled her from the ground. At first he didn’t trust his eyes. He spoke her name more in complete astonishment than in recognition. Surely this could not be her. He must certainly be going mad. Her assailant had run off quickly which was fortunate as Sidney was quite in the mood to pummel anything that came within reach. Until he realised Miss Heywood was indeed before him and he was completely disarmed. Not only had she made the perilous journey to London, she’d done it against the express wishes of Mary who had quite rightly forbidden any such travel. But she had travelled regardless. Once again this girl confounded him completely. To undertake such a endeavour was in one mind quite the stupidest thing a young lady could do. Frought with dangers she could know nothing of. But at the same time Sidney could not help but feel a sneaking awe for her sheer tenacity and courage. </p><p> </p><p>Without Miss Heywood, he’d never have found Molyneux. He’d probably have got around to visiting Beecroft, he may even have called in to Madame Harries’ establishment. But it was unlikely he’d have continued the search, so sure he was that Georgiana was already lost to him. </p><p>With Miss Heywood beside him, he could not give up. She would not allow it. Mrs Harries had mellowed, probably at the sight of determined Miss Heywood, and given them the information they needed. Howard and Georgiana were a mere half hour ahead of them on the road to Scotland. </p><p>Hodges drove speedily through the night. There was no time to make a detour to Bedford Square and leave Miss Heywood with Tom. She had insisted on continuing anyway and arguing only wasted more time, and energy Sidney did not have. He sat beside a now exhausted Miss Heywood in the carriage. He watched silently as she fought with her tiredness eventually losing the battle to remain awake. He pulled her gently towards him so that her head rested against his chest. In her slumber he felt her relax against him, warm and soft. Her indifference and dislike of him now all gone. He looked down at the quite remarkable, sleeping young woman and felt a sense of peace he had never known. They would chase down Howard. He was sure of it. The punishment for kidnap was hanging. Howard would not risk that. Tom’s horses were young and strong. He always insisted on the best of everything. Sidney breathed and would not allow himself to consider failure. Georgiana was too important to him. His promise to her father meant everything. He would not let him down.</p><p>As the first glimmers of sun split the heavy morning clouds, Sidney woke Miss Heywood. Not gently. He didn’t want her to wake in his arms, as he’d held her through the night. No, that would not do. As the carriage hit a large bump in the road he unceremoniously pushed Miss Heywood from the comfortable spot she had nestled in against him. She woke with a start, unsure of where she was. But she quickly gathered her senses, pulled herself upright and asked if Georgiana was insight yet. <br/>“It won’t be much further. The road becomes more of a track now which will have slowed them. I shall take over from Hodges.” Sidney called for a halt, jumped from the carriage and took over the reins. It was mere seconds and they were once more underway. The cold morning air stung Sidney’s eyes and he felt tears stream from the corners. Not real tears he told himself. Just the wind. He had not slept, could not let himself sleep. He urged the horses on and they responded, keeping a fair pace over the roughened terrain. Thank you Tom for the fine light carriage, and youthful strong horses, thought Sidney. For once money had been well spent. </p><p>As the early mist cleared and they hit a straight flat track, Sidney spied a carriage ahead. That had to be them. It was a sturdy heavy carriage, the sort a rich older man would have, to convey his importance. Well upholstered and comfortable for long journeys but slow and cumbersome to pull. His horses would be exhausted by now. </p><p>Sidney pushed the horses on more. He noticed the carriage increase it’s speed, but Sidney could easily match and outrun them. He pulled alongside and shouted for them to stop. He heard Howard bellow from within, telling his driver to go faster. <br/>Without too much thought Sidney handed the reins back to Hodges. </p><p>“Keep her steady.” Was the only instruction he gave. He climbed onto the driver’s seat, made sure his hat was firmly on his head, and took a flying leap onto Howard’s carriage. Sidney landed successfully beside the driver, who gave up the reins without too much of a fight. The carriages came to a shuddering stop. Howard shouted angrily. </p><p>Grasping Georgiana by the waist, Sidney pulled her from the carriage, dropping her to the ground as if she was weightless. After a few well chosen words of warning, Sidney turned his carriage and sped away before Howard could decide on any violent actions. Once several miles away, he stopped in a small woodland off the track, to rest the horses and see to Georgiana.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. 13</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“I’m sorry.”</p><p>“Do you really think sorry is good enough Georgiana? Do you realise what could have happened? Nearly did happen. Of all the stupid, irresponsible, unguarded..”</p><p>“Mr Parker stop! Please stop. Georgiana is safe now. And we are both sorry.” The pleading tone of Miss Heywood steadied Sidney. She was right. There was no good to be had from admonishing Georgiana now. Her heart was most likely broken and her spirit also. She might never recover from her ordeal. She had rightly learned a harsh lesson. Sidney let his anger, born from the fear of her loss, go. His heart softened. </p><p>“Let us get you back to Bedford Square. You can rest there.”</p><p>“Not Sanditon?” Sidney flinched. That tone, of disagreement, of opinion.</p><p>“Not Sanditon, Miss Heywood no. If we were to return there now, everyone would know you and I had travelled in a carriage, together, overnight, alone, unchaperoned. We would be as good as marched to Reverend Hankins and married forthwith. Is that what you want?” Sidney spat out the last words. He looked accusingly at her and was repaid with the glare she so often employed with him. The glare he’d last seen when she’d realised exactly what sort of establishment Mrs Harries ran, and that he was not an unknown to the premises. Obviously Miss Heywood held no finer feelings for him. No thoughts of marriage certainly. Sidney wondered why she, of all women, was completely immune to his charm. In truth, her continued dislike of him had started to become a bother. </p><p>The rest of the journey was completed in silence. Tears streamed silently down Georgiana’s face as Miss Heywood held her hand firmly. Sidney sitting opposite, closed his eyes and pretended to sleep. That avoided any accidental eye contact, or the need for polite conversation which he was not in the mood for and not very good at. By midday they reached London. </p><p>As if the previous evening’s excitement wasn’t enough, now Sidney was expected to put on his best show and accompany Tom and Miss Heywood to Mrs Maudsely’s Rout. </p><p>Wearied by the fear and worry he had felt, the last thing he wanted was to dance and endeavour to delicately promote Sanditon to the Beau Monde. He took the carriage to Russell Square for luncheon with </p><p>“I know I thanked you for the invitations Babbers, but really, I wish you hadn’t.”</p><p>“It was more for Tom. I’m sure Miss Heywood will enjoy herself too. Her first Society ball, is it not?” Babbington prodded Sidney. “And you never know who might make an appearance!” Babbington’s eyebrows shot to the top of his head and he regarded Sidney. Sidney thought for a moment. Could this be the Ball where he’d see Eliza again? The months of excited hope and waiting seemed a little foolish now. Babbers was right. He wasn’t the same man anymore and she doubtful would be the same girl. He was too jaded to feel any sense of excitement, but it would be a lovely surprise to see her at last. Meanwhile Babbington had continued talking.</p><p>“Perhaps you should procure a gown for her. Mary’s are too dowdy for such a lively young thing.” Sidney dragged himself back to the moment. </p><p>“Yes I suppose I should.”</p><p>Babbington’s sister looked up from her plate. “I have gowns Mr Parker. You are welcome to borrow any.” Young Lady Babbington was well used to Sidney. She’d grown up with him staying at their country estate. She was of course the envy of all of her friends, who would frequently invite themselves to stay in the hope of catching Mr Parker’s eye. </p><p>“That would be most kind Lady B.” Sidney smiled his most kindly smile. Babber’s sister was a joyful creature. Always agreeable and full of life. She marched him straight to her dressing room and had the maids pull out her most favourable frocks.</p><p>“Is this too green, what colouring does she have Mr P? Would pink suit, if she is not florid in the cheeks? It won’t do for her face to match the dress.” Young Lady Babbington skipped around the room pointing out dresses and having the maids hold them up for inspection. Sidney felt out of his depth. Out of the corner of his eye he spotted a glowing jewel. A gown of brightest gold.<br/>“That one.” He said decidedly. Lady B looked disappointed. </p><p>“I’ve worn that one Mr P. Why only just two months hence, not in London exactly but at a house party. Are you sure it will do?”<br/>“It will do very well. I’m sure Miss Heywood will be very grateful to you.”</p><p>Sidney dressed for the Rout. His carefully chosen waistcoat matched perfectly to the dress he had picked for Miss Heywood. He nervously fiddled with his cravat. Would she like the dress? He was sure he’d find out soon enough. She was bound to share her opinion with him. </p><p>As Miss Heywood descended the stairs, Sidney could see he had made the perfect choice of dress. She looked serene and angelic. Her counternanace was hesitant and unsure. He’d never seen her doubt herself before. This was quite a new side to the spirited Miss Heywood and Sidney rather liked it. </p><p>Sidney searched the Rout. It was hot and so crowded he could hardly move. The dance floor was full of fast moving couples. He felt sure he’d be able to spot her or the dress at least. He hadn’t seen Tom for hours either but couldn’t imagine he had left without Miss Heywood. Sidney walked to the stables. There was no sign of Hodges. The drivers had their own entertainment, playing cards while they awaited being called to drive their masters home. She must have gone home, as she had suggested hours earlier. Before the dance. Sidney sat on the balustrade wall and searched his pockets for his cigarettes. What a stupid time to decide to give up. He hadn’t smoked for a few weeks, but right now he really wanted to. Instead he had to make do with the cool night air in his lungs and a sense that something had gone quite caterstrophically awry.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. 14</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Hearing those words, “My dear, you are in love with him”, filled Sidney with a sense of unconfined joy. Whoever this wise lady was, she had certainly made an impression on Miss Heywood, who looked utterly befuddled as she took his hand. Sidney lead her carefully on to the dance floor and held her gently but closely as they danced. Her warm body moved in time with him and he could sense every curve of her, soft and welcoming. Sidney neither heard the music nor noticed anyone else around him. So captivated by her sparkling eyes, it was only when she took a step away from him that he realised their dance was over. And he felt bereft and lonely in that instant. </p><p>As Tom joined them and asked Miss Heywood for a dance Sidney’s eyes were drawn to movement at the main entrance. He wasn’t the only one, half of the ballroom had turned to look at the most stunning woman to arrive at the Rout. Sidney felt his heart stop, his breath catch and his knees weaken beneath him. It was her. A brief turn of his head, back to Tom and Miss Heywood, safely dancing together, and his eyes fixed again on Eliza. It really was her. Shyly, with trepidation Sidney was drawn to her side. Would she recognise him, or even acknowledge him? Terrified but unable to stop himself he came closer. Her attention fixed on the dancers, he softly spoke her name and she turned to him with a smile of recognition and affection. Sidney drew breath and sighed with a relief and happiness he had wished for, for years.</p><p>They spoke for some moments, Sidney gave his sincere condolences for her loss, which she graciously accepted. He asked for a dance and almost without waiting she took his hand and held his fingers delicately. As Sidney steered her around the dance, he was aware of the eyes of the room on him, the most exquisite delicate creature beside him. She almost did not seem real. She had a fragility he didn’t remember, almost a brittleness, like the most beautiful glass ornament one might be frightened of handling. Her face was perfect, her stance elegant, her expression of pleasure fixed as he spun her around the room. At the end of the dance, he had excused himself. It was far too hot and he needed some air. Ten years of waiting and now it was all too much. Sidney stumbled outside. </p><p>He sat on the wall by the stables considering what he should do. His stomach lurched painfully and he found the contents of his evening meal making a rapid reappearance, almost all over his shoes. He hadn’t seen Hodges, nor Tom nor Miss Heywood. Perhaps he could find Babbers if he went back inside. Sidney walked towards the steps up to the house and found himself joined by the elegant lady whose words had so thrilled him earlier, before; before the excitement, no, the shock of finally seeing Eliza.  </p><p>“One can tell a great deal about a person by the way they dance, Mr Parker. Don’t you find?” She smiled enigmatically and then stepped towards her large and very opulent carriage, nodding a polite good night.</p><p>The dance. The warmth of her against him was a sensation he could never forget. Her softness in his arms, she seemed to mould to him. They had danced as one and he hadn’t wanted it to end. He compared it to his dance with Eliza. With her in his arms he felt he was holding up a prize for all to see, to admire and be envious of. Look at this glittering trophy I hold. If he let go she would shatter into pieces, so unreal she felt to him. Eliza had been the prize he had wanted for so long and now, he was left wanting. </p><p>Sidney walked home. Through the streets he trudged passed by carriages, the revellers calling out to him with offers of lifts. He waved them on. The bright blue eyes of Eliza swam in his mind. Beautiful as they had ever been. But he had not lost himself in her eyes. He admired them, like a fine painting or perfectly cut jewels. He turned his thoughts to Miss Heywood. How she had slept so deeply in his arms in the carriage. How she felt in his arms when they had danced. She held a power over him he did not understand. He wanted her, to want him, and she had not, perhaps still did not. Then whatever that conversation on the balcony had been with that elegant lady, she had identified feelings Miss Heywood had for him. That she obviously had not realised herself. Perhaps their dance together had captured her in the same way it had him. She had held him tightly too, and not moved away from his closeness, even moving closer to him still. With warm thoughts that perhaps Miss Heywood had soften towards him, Sidney found new vigour on his walk back to Bedford Place. He resolved to speak to her in the morning. Not make a declaration, far too early for that, but ascertain her favourablity towards him. </p><p>Well, breakfast didn’t go as he’d expected. Tom had been Tom, too loud, too enthusiastic. He’d talked incessantly about Eliza and how pleased he was to see her again. Sidney made no comment. </p><p>Miss Heywood had reverted to the severe and distant person of weeks earlier. Her face was fixed with a look of such displeasure Sidney wondered if her stomach ailed her too. He didn’t ask. Gone was the softness and the sparkling eyes, replaced with such coldness, Sidney wondered if their dance together had been in his imagining. He recalled the look on her face when she had defended Molyneux and called him prejudiced. This new look, of ferocity was far worse. Sidney couldn’t imagine he’d done anything to warrant such dislike, so it must just be born of a natural dislike she had for him. His charm may have pierced her armour last night, but just momentarily and now her defences were steeled once again. Inside Sidney sighed. In the depths of his memory he recalled her voice. “If I was to fall in love it would not be with a man like that!” What sort of man was he exactly, to her? Whatever her assumption of him, it was evidently not favourable. Miss Heywood was obviously lost to him and now with Eliza, perhaps Tom was right. Sidney resolved to visit Eliza later that day. </p><p>In truth his visit to Eliza held every promise he wished for. She was attentive, even eager. She made her feelings for him perfectly clear, without naming them exactly. </p><p>Sidney drove her around Hyde Park in the Phaeton, which she was aware he had won through gambling. She asked earnest questions about Sanditon and enquired if his family was well. She seemed to know so much about him and he knew nothing of her. Not wishing to pry Sidney kept his questions general, but there was something he needed to know.</p><p>“Your family Eliza, are there Campions heirs?” Sidney put it as delicately as he could.</p><p>“Gracious no. We were not blessed. Old Campion was in poor health and besides, imagine me with some beastly little children.” She laughed. Sidney didn’t. Perhaps in time he could change her mind. Sidney saw little point in a marriage without children. To him they sealed the love of the couple and made it flesh. He thought fondly of Henry chasing Tom around the study and Alicia hiding behind Mary’s skirts, both with eyes the exact colour of the sea on a stormy day. </p><p>After their drive, they returned to the London home that Eliza favoured, and a lavish luncheon was served. Eliza spoke of the season, the parties and events she had been invited to.</p><p>“It’s as if I’ve never been away Sidney. All those years in the country and just dreary little parochial dances to open. London Society has welcomed me back. I am at last home, where I belong. In my natural habitat. I missed it so.”</p><p>Sidney only half listened. Tales of balls and smart estate gatherings really didn’t interest him. He wondered if Georgiana and Miss Heywood had returned to Sanditon safely. Tom said he would send word. He considered he really ought to have accompanied them, particularly for Georgiana’s sake. But the thought of being glared at by a furious Miss Heywood for the whole journey did not thrill him. The thought came to him that he might ask Georgiana why he seemed to raise such an anger in Miss Heywood. An anger he could not believe such a sweet thing could possess. Sidney snorted. Georgiana would revel in his confusion and most likely laugh at him. </p><p>“Sidney? Are you listening? I was telling you about the Venice, the six clippers in full sail, all racing to dock before nightfall.”<br/>Sidney snapped back to the elaborate dining room he sat in with Eliza. She was several feet away at the head of the table. While he sat at the other end. He’d have preferred to sit beside her, to gently nudge her thigh with his knee under the table. To be able to stare deeply in her eyes, rather than down on the plate before him. </p><p>“I was just wondering if Tom has got back to Sanditon safely. Please excuse me.”</p><p>“Oh Sidney. You haven’t changed one bit. Still worried about your silly brother and wrapped up in your little town. I know what we shall do! I will accompany you to Tom’s regatta. That will make the day a success.” Eliza smiled broadly at Sidney, her eyes dancing with excitement. Sidney felt somewhat put out.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. 15</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The day of the Regatta arrived eventually. Sidney had spent most of his time with Eliza. They had taken tea with her friends, been out to the opera, seen the latest exhibition of paintings at the National, been entertained by musicians, danced at various balls and dined with so many people Sidney could not remember them all. Eliza seemed have an endless list of engangents to attend. Invitations arrived at her door at frightening regularity and she seemed very keen to be seen around town with Sidney in tow. Sidney had begun to crave the company of men. Well, Babbers and Crowe mainly, where he could relax and be himself. Eliza had insisted he accompany her everywhere, even her modiste. Sidney sat uncomfortably in the dress shop as Eliza had chosen fabrics and styles, talked incessantly about who wore what and where, then disappeared to be fitted, for what seemed like hours. He’d considered escaping. He almost had. He got up, walked to the door and pulled it open, only for the bell to jangle loudly and Eliza called out. </p><p>“Shan’t be much longer, do get some fresh air if you’d like Sidney, I shall be ready in no time.” She wasn’t. It was at least another interminably long hour. Sidney sat and waited.</p><p>His biggest problem was the more time he spent with Eliza, the more he thought about Miss Heywood. He tried to imagine Eliza helping Old Stringer, getting blood on her hands or tearing her underskirts. He laughed out loud when he tired to imagine Eliza swinging a cricket bat. Would she have rushed out to look for Georgiana in the dangerous and dirty parts of London. He couldn’t imagine she would. </p><p>But, she very obviously adored him. She could not let him out of her sight. Since he had found her again, they had spent almost every waking hour together, parting only late at night and meeting again in the morning to breakfast together. <br/>It didn’t matter how much he thought about Miss Heywood. She had made it abundantly clear she viewed him with absolute contempt. </p><p>Eliza on the other hand, had his favourite meals prepared for him, ordered the finest tailored clothing and had the softest boots made for him. She paraded him around every fine dinner table in London, clutching on to his arm and beaming brightly. She wanted him. Was it not far better to be loved than to love, he told himself. He had loved her, and it hurt. The pain was still there in his memory, although the love had now faded. He was safe from her now. She loved him. She could not inflict the same pain on him again. </p><p>They travelled together to Sanditon, in her beautiful carriage, with a number of her friends. It was good of her to give her patronage to Sanditon. She even spoke of buying a little summer house there. If she did, any number of her friends would probably follow suit. Tom’s money troubles would be eased and it would all be thanks to Eliza. </p><p>Sidney held on to the positive thoughts as they travelled. </p><p>“You are very quiet Sidney?” It was a chance remark. Eliza did not usually notice when Sidney was quiet, which in her presence was most of the time. It was hard getting a word in edgeways. She spoke constantly of things which held no interest for him, so he found he had nothing to say. He smiled at her. Inside he felt dispirited and in a low mood he could not understand.</p><p>“Oh men, what do they know?” She giggled, and continued to speak of people and things Sidney did not know and had no wish to. </p><p>After their arrival in Sanditon, Sidney felt his spirits rise and his pulse quicken. He felt more alive than he had done all week.<br/>“Come and meet Georgiana. I’m sure she would be thrilled to me you. After all, you are the reason she is my ward.” Sidney stretched out his hand towards Eliza.</p><p>“I couldn’t possibly visit with the dust of travel on me. I must change first.”</p><p>“Georgiana won’t mind.”</p><p>“I mind Sidney. You go. I’ll meet her tomorrow, when I have recovered from that awful journey.” </p><p>He walked to Mrs Griffiths’ lodgings grateful for some time alone. It was blowing a gale. In his head he heard Tom’s enthusiastic tone. Gales are not permitted in Sanditon!  Ever the optimist. Sidney was actually looking forward to seeing Georgiana. He hoped her spirit was healing and perhaps her heart too. But perhaps it was a little soon. He wondered when he’d encounter Miss Heywood. He rather expected and hoped she would pop up somewhere unexpectedly, as was her habit. </p><p>As it turned out, Georgiana gave him short shrift. She had evidently not been looking forward to seeing him. She turned her face from him and even though Sidney implored her, she would not listen. He left her room deflated and weary.</p><p>As he turned from Georgiana’s room his spirits lifted immediately at the sight of Miss Heywood. For a moment he just stared. She looked surprised, almost shocked to see him. In the tiny hallway of Miss Griffiths lodgings there was nowhere for her to turn to escape him. Sidney noticed the hesitancy and self doubt she’d shown before. He relaxed. She wasn’t about to berate him for something he didn't know he’d done. He asked, very politely, if he could wait for her. Miss Heywood looked quite confused at this suggestion and seemed unable to find a good excuse to avoid him, so could only agree if reluctantly. </p><p>Sidney sat in the parlour opposite Mrs Griffiths. She poured him tea and offered biscuits. There was an uncomfortable silence. <br/>“Will you be travelling again Mr Parker?” Mrs Griffiths enquired, unable to take her eyes away from him. Sniggers were heard from the Beaufort girls sitting at the window as they trimmed their bonnets with ribbons. </p><p>Sidney shifted in his seat. Conversation between them was stilted and awkward. Mrs Griffiths described the accomplishments Georgiana had made progress in. Her drawing and sketching was coming along, but Mrs Griffiths oddly had no examples to show of her work. Her needlework was still rudimentary, but Sidney could not see the worth in embroidery. Sadly her piano skills were still lacking but Mrs Griffiths believed improvements would be made. She seemed more enthusiastic with the religious instruction given regularly by Reverend Hankins. Sidney doubted Georgiana shared that enthusiasm. The wait for Miss Heywood seemed interminable. At one stage Sidney was certain he heard laughter from above and imagined they were conspiring to make him suffer by taking even longer and enjoying his discomfort. Let him spend some time with the gorgon and see how he likes it. He could well imagine Georgiana’s gleeful face. Eventually he heard delicate footsteps on the stairs and he made his leave from the parlour. As he closed the door he heard an explosion of suppressed giggles, but focussed his mind on Miss Heywood as she took the final few steps down the staircase. He was reminded of the London ball and her ethereal descent at Bedford Square. Her face was similarly hesitant, but she didn’t seem dismayed to see him.</p><p>“You wished to speak to me Mr Parker?” Sidney hadn’t thought why he had asked to wait for Miss Heywood. It had been the first thing he could think of to say to her. He opened his mouth but no words followed.</p><p>“About Georgiana I suppose?” </p><p>“Yes, yes, about Georgiana.” Relieved, Sidney walked alongside Miss Heywood as she told him of Georgiana’s unhappiness since their return to Sanditon.</p><p>When Sidney agreed he could understand the heart worn feelings Georgiana was experiencing, Miss Heywood seemed to lighten the mood with some gentle teasing. Sidney felt his heart calm as she smiled at him and he capitulated with her teasing. She even raised a chuckle from him and he realised he’d forgotten what it was like to laugh. As they got close to Trafalgar House, Sidney excused himself.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. 16</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sidney’s next walk was with Eliza. They strolled together passed the old streets and into the new construction. Sidney hoped she would like the look of the Terrace and maybe even purchase one for herself. Eliza seemed to have other ideas. <br/>“I’m so glad you accepted my invitation to the regatta. I wasn’t sure a provincial event would be quite your thing.” Sidney smiled gently as he spoke. </p><p>“I’m not here for the regatta Sidney. I’m here for you.” Her words sent a chill down his spine. How different their conversation felt to his earlier one with Miss Heywood. Their companionable conversation had lightened his soul. This conversation with Eliza held a substantial uneasiness to it. A heaviness which made him flinch from her.</p><p>“We are not the people we were. I am certainly not the boy you once knew.” Sidney squirmed slightly, under the intensity of her gaze.</p><p>“Oh you are! I knew it the moment I saw you in London. And I am the same girl I ever was. It is as if no time has passed at all.” Sidney considered her words and thought of the drunken nights he’d tried to forget her. The hung over days he pined for her. The long journey to Antigua to get away from London and avoid talk of her society wedding. The years working under the hot sun, making his fortune and the eventual return to England bringing Georgiana with him under instructions from her father. <br/>He was certainly not the boy Eliza thought she knew. </p><p>As the rain drizzled, they came to Trafalgar House. </p><p>“Oh this hasn’t changed at all. Do take me to see Mary, Sidney. It’s been far too long.”</p><p>Sidney walked into Trafalgar House as Eliza took a firm grip of his arm. He thought it quite strange. They had walked through the town together, amiably, side by side, but she had not reached for his arm then. Inside Tom was loudly welcoming and Mary polite but reserved. The children milled around inquisitively and Eliza seemed completely blind and deaf to them. Then in the shadows Sidney saw a slight movement. He knew instinctively it was Miss Heywood. He focussed on the dark hallway and gradually she stepped slowly into the light. </p><p>It was as if a thunderbolt struck him then. Her eyes, so large and full of an unmistakable heart torn hurt, burned into him. Their brightness made more so by the sparkle of unspilled tears. Sidney could not bear it. His gaze fell to the ground and then to Tom, as he struggled to hear the conversation around him. The ground under his feet seemed not to be stable and his head was spinning. In that moment he knew. For every cross word they had exchanged, for every bitter recrimination they shared, for the anger each raised in the other, all of it was a sign. A sign that their paths were linked and their fates entwined. </p><p>Sidney was brought to the present by the strengthened grip on his arm and a sharp “don’t you agree Sidney?”. It wasn’t so much a question as an instruction. He flexed his arm in the hope of restoring the circulation to his hand. </p><p>Thankfully they moved from the outer parlour to the dining room, where the ladies sat down to tea while Sidney directed Tom to the study to discuss business. </p><p>“Brandy!” Sidney gasped as he flung himself into a chair. Memories of the night of the London ball had come back to him. The dance with Miss Heywood. The intimate way her arm had curled around his shoulders. Her fingers so close to his neck, he had been sure she had touched his collar deliberately. Then he’d walked from her, almost immediately into the arms of Eliza. How could he have been so blinded? Now it all made sense. The looks of disgust he’d received the next morning over breakfast. Her fury that he could not understand. While Sidney duly felt terrible, caddish almost, a small seed of hope grew within. If her anger was an indication of her feelings for him, they were certainly powerful. And passionate. If he could incite such an anger in her, could it be matched by an equally fervent love? Maybe there was hope after all. Their earlier conversation had revealed a compatibility he had never felt with a woman before. Someone he could be himself with, as he was with Babbington and Crowe.<br/>But even better because she understood him in a way only women could understand. Like Mary did. </p><p>As Sidney mulled over his discoveries, Tom blathered on. The building, new plans, expansion, investment. Sidney let it all wash over him. He had a difficult conundrum to solve. How was he to be sure she loved him? And how could he extricate himself from the firm grasp Eliza seemed to have? </p><p>Eliza joined them to continue her conversation with Tom as he showed her the grand model of Sanditon in his study. They were disturbed by the children running in and circling the tables and chairs in a game of catch. Charlotte entered the study to retrieve them.</p><p>“Oh who is this? Not taking on more staff, are you Tom?” Eliza’s eyes bore into Charlotte. Sidney could feel himself growing hotter. Before he could speak, Miss Heywood spoke up for herself. </p><p>“I shall take the children out Mr Parker, so you can continue your business.” She shot a momentary look in Eliza’s direction but did not speak to her. </p><p>“Meet our summer guest Eliza. This is Charlotte Heywood who is fast becoming quite invaluable around here. Wouldn’t you agree Sidney?”</p><p>“Valuable, yes.” Sidney mumbled feeling heat on his cheeks. He caught a look of disdain on Miss Heywood’s face, a look he was quite familiar with. </p><p>“And Mrs Eliza Campion is an old friend of the Parker family, and rather more than that to old Sidney.” Eliza giggled like a young girl, her pretence of embarrassment made Sidney cringe. Charlotte nodded slightly but didn't curtsy.</p><p>Sidney was very relieved as Charlotte ushered out the children despite her casting one final look of derision in his direction as she left the room. The whole conversation was more than mortifying. Tom continued his monologue about the town and the development as Sidney stared out of the window. He was rewarded with the sight of Miss Heywood running to keep up with the children, her hair flying and her skirts lifted slightly above her ankles. They were in a great hurry to get to the beach. She seemed so free and happy, when all Sidney felt was constrained and trapped.</p><p>Luncheon was served in the main dining hall some time later, and the children and Miss Heywood were conspicuous in their absence. Sidney found himself wondering where they might be.</p><p>“Will the children be returning to join us Mary?” He couldn’t help himself. He needed to find out. Eliza laughed in quite a spiteful way.</p><p>“Oh my dear, you are amusing. The children must luncheon in the nursery, do they not Mary?”</p><p>Mary gave Eliza a cold smile, that went no further than her lips. </p><p>“They eat with us normally, but Charlotte took a picnic for them, as the weather is so warm today.” Eliza feigned shock.</p><p>“Gracious Mary, their dresses will be deep in sand, and eating on the ground! Surely you’d like them brought up to be ladies, not savages?” Mary openly grimaced.</p><p>“They are children Eliza. Plenty of time to grow up to become ladies and gentlemen.”</p><p>Eliza shot a look at Sidney, one that demanded support for her point of view. He avoided her eyes, stared steadily at his plate and said “Children need to be children. We always picnicked on the beach in the summer, didn’t we Tom?”</p><p>Eliza laughed. “That explains so much about your behaviour Sidney.” No one else laughed, although in politeness Tom managed a watery smile. </p><p>As luncheon came to an end Sidney was desperate for some time alone. </p><p>“I require some bracing exercise. I wonder if I can leave Eliza in your careful hands Tom? Perhaps a visit around the terrace, while I enjoy some sea bathing. See you at the Regatta.” Without waiting for an answer from either Eliza or Tom, Sidney strode quickly out of the room. Tom was more than happy to oblige. He could talk about Sanditon for a month of Sunday’s particularly to someone new to the development. Eliza tried to hide her displeasure but failed miserably. Her pinched smile froze on her face as she watched Sidney’s back disappear down the long hallway.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. 17</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The cold swim had relaxed him. Back in the Crowne Sidney changed into appropriate clothes for the Grand Sanditon Regatta. He joined Arthur and Tom as they walked towards the river, seeing the people of the town out and enjoying the stalls and refreshments. It was surprisingly busy, as if the whole of London had come to Sanditon. Tom was beside himself with excitement.</p><p>“And there Sidney.” Tom gesticulated grandly. “The richest and most beautiful woman here. She could be yours. She spoke of nothing but you since luncheon.” Tom’s words gripped Sidney with an icy tension. </p><p>“Steady on Tom, no need to rush things.” Sidney baulked at the idea as Tom spoke, but he considered, his brother was correct. She was beautiful and she adored him.</p><p>“Why ever not? She loves you and you love her. It was meant.” The brothers stopped walking and stood at the brow of the hill observing the scenes around them. In particular they looked at Eliza surrounded by a group of not quite as elegant ladies who swarmed about her. </p><p>Arthur spoke up. “I don’t recall much of what happened so long ago Sidney, but I know she robbed me of my brother. I don’t believe I could ever trust her again.” Arthur spoke so infrequently, at least that Sidney noticed, but when he did his words had a gravitas that shook Sidney to the core. He was right of course, but things had moved on. Eliza could never hurt him like she had all that time ago. She held no sway over him now. A small dark part of him enjoyed seeing her adoration, knowing that he was completely in charge of his own feelings. She longed for him, he could see it in her eyes. His yearning for her was gone. He wouldn’t play with her feelings however, the time was coming soon that he needed to be honest with her and himself. Before he was willing to express himself to Eliza he wanted to find out what exactly he felt for Miss Heywood and more importantly she for him. It was Miss Heywood who had awakened the desire in Sidney for the warmth of matrimony and family. He could no longer deny his wish for a wife such as her. Sidney was certain Eliza would accept him if he proposed. He had only a little inclination to do so. But if Charlotte were to express love for him, the choice was simple. The choice to remain as he was, an outlier, a singleton with a rakish reputation no longer pleased him, if ever it did. Now was the time to take the leap into marriage. Being the outsider had become tedious. He’d long thought he would never marry, now he could almost accept the fact that even he could be suited to marriage. As there was the choice, he realised it was something he wanted. The feeling of belonging to someone and they belonging to him. Someone to care for and be in the thrall of. If Charlotte shared those feelings with him, then his joy would be unconfined. If she did not, Eliza was a reasonable and expected second choice. She might not make him blissfully happy but he would no longer be alone. Did love really have anything to do with it? Sidney was not sure.</p><p>In the distance he saw the distinctive silhouette of Miss Heywood, close to the rowing boats. She was alone, an opportunity not to be missed. He strode quickly down the riverbank, trying not to run. His jacket felt confining. He shrugged it off and stretched out his arms, realising he could easily make Miss Heywood nervous with his large sweeping gesture. She kept herself from him as he advanced, looking away from his face. He engaged her with conversation, but she maintained an uneasiness towards him. She was very uncertain but took his hand briefly as he urged her reluctantly into the rowing boat. </p><p>Sidney took up the oars and pulled the boat out into the middle of the river. He was acutely aware that they were alone, and could easily be seen by the whole of London Society. It was in fact his whole reason for suggesting she join him as he practised his rowing. He hoped they would be seen and assumptions would be made, if not by the inhabitants of Sanditon but most certainly by the London set. </p><p>What Sidney had not expected was the mesmerising effect of sitting opposite her as she gazed at him. His dreamlike state was shattered as Eliza’s urgent call brought him back to the moment. </p><p>To row quickly back to the river bank, Sidney sat with his back to Miss Heywood. He had been too familiar and it was completely unfair of him to put her in the awkward position she found herself with him. Together, alone and in full view of everyone. Yes he’d wanted it, but she probably had not. He had a reputation. Miss Heywood was an innocent. Secretly he’d hoped for the rumours to start, but to ruin her was not in his mind. He tied the boat to the jetty and turned to help Miss Heywood from the boat. She leapt onto the bank without need of assistance and without turning round ran straight for the refreshment tent where she quickly immersed herself in conversation with Mary and Diana. Sidney watched on as she relaxed in their presence, looking only briefly back down towards the boat and Sidney. </p><p>Eliza approached him, the rustle of her stiff satin skirts alerted Sidney to her closeness. </p><p>“There you are Sidney. A gentleman never practises you know. It’s tantamount to cheating.” There was a frosty edge to her jovial tone. Sidney rather hoped she would allude to Miss Heywood, but she did not. </p><p>“I’ve not held an oar in years. I don’t want to make a fool of myself.” It sounded like an excuse, when he had meant it as anything but. </p><p>“Come Sidney. Walk with me.” Eliza took a firm grasp of his arm and walked purposely towards the refreshments tent. Sidney hesitated. He sensed an air of mischief from Eliza and as she continued to drag him closer, he knew she was aiming straight for Miss Heywood. </p><p>Sidney stood in dejection and disappointment. He had fallen into Eliza’s trap. She always had a clever sharp tongue. Sidney had forgotten. And now with several interested eyes laid on him, he stood rooted to the spot watching the slight figure of Miss Heywood walking from him. Her parting words careered through his mind, causing pain. “Please, be good enough to leave me alone.” She was not angry as she spoke those words to him. She was wounded, hurt in a way that brought physical pain to Sidney as he recalled her tear filled eyes. He had hurt her. At the very moment he tried to display their shared intimacy and understanding. It had all gone wrong, and Eliza had manipulated the whole encounter. Sidney’s shock was interrupted by a soft masculine voice.</p><p>“The gentlemen are getting changed for the race now, Mr Parker. Follow me. You’ll not wish to be late.” Sidney felt a gentle tug on his arm and found himself following behind the broad back of Young Stringer. The only thought he was able to process was the damage he had done to Miss Heywood and her opinion of him. </p><p>As they came closer to the gentleman’s changing tent, Young Stringer turned to him. There was a steely look in his eyes.<br/>“Good luck with the race Mr Parker. I’ve never seen the point in entering a race unless you win it.” He nodded at Sidney and without smiling walked towards the tent where the workers had gathered. </p><p>Still dazed Sidney entered the tent and changed into his rowing attire. There was a growing anger in his belly. He was angry with himself, for his abysmal response to Miss Heywood.</p><p>“What do you want from me?” She had asked him and he was not able to answer. The question was unexpected, and his answer not appropriate to be spoken in public. He didn’t think she would be receptive to his answer either. </p><p>“Be mine” were the words that almost escaped him, but he faltered and swallowed them. The look on her face told him she would throw those words back at him if he ever dared speak them.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. 18</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The stalls were cleared away, the marquees taken down and the river bank was quiet once more. <br/>Arthur sat at the little table Miss Heywood had occupied earlier in the day. He dwarfed the tiny table and chair which made Sidney smile as he recalled Miss Heywood sitting in the same spot. Arthur diligently counted up the takings and ticket sales, making notes of which stalls had been most successful. Sidney watched as he concentrated, his neat writing in the ledger detailing the profits of the day. </p><p>Tom continued to wave off the stall holders and guests, finally returning to the riverbank with a huge smile on his face.<br/>“Twenty pounds Sidney! The bookmaker didn’t want to pay out but I showed him the error of his ways!” Tom waved a large fist of five pound notes.</p><p>Sidney was confused. “We lost Tom? How did your wager win?”</p><p>“I had five pounds on Stringer.” Without a shadow of irony Tom continued to grin, as he pocketed his money. Sidney rolled his eyes. No wonder the boat had got so much heavier towards the end of the race. He’d been the only one rowing.</p><p>“You bet against us? Against Me! Why am I even surprised?” Sidney was exasperated, Tom just chuckled.</p><p>“You are just annoyed you didn’t think of it.”  Nothing could dent Tom’s joy from the very successful regatta. “Come back to Trafalgar House. We will celebrate the day. Bring Eliza.”</p><p>Sidney shook his head. “I’ve something to do.” He left Tom and Arthur and strode towards the Assembley rooms where Eliza and her entourage were taking tea. </p><p>Eliza sat at the head of a long table, attended to by several waiters with sandwiches and pots of tea. She held court over her friends and they hung on her every word.</p><p>“There you are Sidney. Mr Parker everyone. The almost winner of the gentlemen’s rowing race.” Her audience giggled. Eliza waved for an additional chair. “Sit beside me.” Sidney sat down. He didn’t enjoy being the object of ridicule, and he was less noticeable seated. </p><p>“I’ve sent word ahead. I thought you could stay as my guest, for a few days. Your rooms are being prepared. We can leave for London after tea.”</p><p>Sidney sighed. There was something about Eliza that made him feel weary.</p><p>“I shan’t be travelling with you Eliza. Tom needs me in Sanditon.” Eliza’s face froze.</p><p>“Are you sure it is Tom that needs you Sidney? There isn’t another reason you would stay in Sanditon is there?” Eliza’s icy stare chilled Sidney. He tried to camouflage a shudder. </p><p>“I have work to do. I shall see you to your carriage.” </p><p>As tea ended and Eliza’s guest drifted away to coaches and carriages travelling back to London, Eliza turned to Sidney once more.</p><p>“I cannot bear to leave you in this dreary town, Sidney. We have only just found each other and now we are to be parted. When will you be free to travel to London?” She seemed almost to beg him, to plead for his attention as she grasped his hand and held it tightly to her. </p><p>“As soon as I am able.” Sidney could see the pain of their parting in her eyes, and guilt gripped him. He had to be truthful.<br/>“Eliza I..” She interrupted quickly, almost as if she didn’t want to hear what he had to say. </p><p>“Well I will see you as soon as Tom no longer needs you Sidney. I can wait, just don’t make me wait too long.” With that she climbed into her carriage, turning to lean out of the window. </p><p>“I’ve waited ten years to find you. A quarter of an hour without you is too long.”</p><p>Her carriage pulled away and Sidney watched. He hadn’t said what he should have. Eliza hadn’t allowed it. He decided he would write to explain instead. It would be kinder to put his words down on paper and gently explain his feelings for her had changed. Sidney walked slowly back to the Crowne, trying to compose the letter in his mind, his head full of words, but none seemed quite right. He sat at the writing desk in his chambers and took up his pen. Looking out of his window he saw Miss Heywood walking back from the sea, her hair blowing in the breeze. She was still wearing the light muslin dress she’d worn at the regatta, even though the evening had turned chilly. He watched as she entered Trafalgar House and was lost from his sight. Sidney sighed. He turned his attention back to his letter. There were just two words on the page. Dear Eliza. Sidney had no idea how to continue. Now with his thoughts full of Miss Heywood and what she might think of him, he twiddled with his pen. After some minutes he gave up. The sun was going down and he saw the lights go on in Trafalgar House. From his window he saw Miss Heywood standing alone in the front parlour. The room Tom used as his office. He had to speak to her. Without hesitating, because if he did, his courage might desert him, he left his chambers and took the short walk across the square to Trafalgar House. He was let in by Hodges who informed him Mr Parker was bathing the children. Sidney made his way quickly to Tom’s Office in the hope that Miss Heywood would still be there. She was. She looked startled to see him at first, and then gritted her teeth, as if trying to steel her emotions. She lifted her chin and defiantly looked him in the eyes. Sidney marvelled at her composure, her struggle to look in control when a slight shake in her hand gave her away. She wasn’t angry, he was relieved to realise. Well not as angry as she had been at least. </p><p>“If you are looking for your brother.” Sidney had to interrupt her, before he forgot the well chosen words he had rehearsed in his head since leaving his rooms. He took in a deep breath, he steadied his posture, balancing his weight evenly on his feet spread hip distance apart. He tucked his arms behind his back, as he found his hands shook a little too. </p><p>“I’m not. In fact I was looking for you.” Sidney noted the increased tension in Miss Heywood. Her hand formed a tight fist. Was that to hide the trembling or did she consider striking him? Sidney relaxed. </p><p>“I thought you’d have left for London with Mrs Campion?” The obstinate glare on her face made Sidney smile. He felt sure she was trying very hard to hold on to her anger against him,and she wasn’t terribly convincing. Sidney saw his chance.</p><p>“She has already left. I decided against it. On reflection I prefer to remain here.” He saw the badly disguised surprise cross Charlotte's face. Every feature softened. Even her upright stance gave way. Sidney continued. Now was the time for those well rehearsed words of apology.</p><p>“I am much less than perfect. You’ve made me all to aware of that. But I am my best self, my truest self, when I am with you.” He breathed. The words hung heavy in the air between them. Charlotte said nothing. She seemed to wilt just a little. There was nothing more to be done.</p><p>“That is all.” Sidney nodded and turned away. He walked back to his rooms across the square. There was a lightness in his step. She had listened. She had fortunately not tried to strike him. She had looked disarmed by his protestation. These were all good signs. He hoped she would dwell on his words and understand his depth of feeling for her, from what he had said. What greater compliment could he have given her? She made him a better person. The best version of Sidney Parker. He hadn’t been his best self for several years, and he’d almost forgotten what it was to be his true self. Charlotte had reminded him, and made him want to be that man again. The man he had left behind when he had fled to Antigua. </p><p>Sidney decided against a final brandy and instead settled into a well needed and comfortable sleep. He dreamt of blue skies, fresh sea breezes and green cliff tops.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. 19</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The bright glittering light of morning woke Sidney early. He bounded from his bed, throwing back the quilt and stood naked at the window looking out at the glistening sea. He had energy to spare. Dressing swiftly he had an urgent need for the cold shock of the waves against his skin. Running down through town to the water's edge, he threw off his clothes with abandon and leapt into the swell. The refreshing chill made his skin tingle all over, then glow warm from his exertions. After swimming strongly against the current he tired a little and felt his morning exuberance subside. Now with greater control of his body, he felt able to take the next decision he had made in the early light. He would call on Miss Heywood. </p><p>In Trafalgar House he found Mary in the dining room taking breakfast alone. She was always joyful when seeing him.<br/>“Sidney! Join me. Tom has left early for the terrace. I am quite alone.”</p><p>“What of your house guest, Miss Heywood, does she not take her meals with you?” Sidney settled into a chair beside Mary and poured himself a cup of tea.</p><p>“Charlotte? Normally she does. I didn’t hear her come up to bed last night. She may have stayed downstairs reading late. I could have her roused if you’d like?” Mary looked closely at Sidney, searching for an emotion. </p><p>“Not necessary.” Sidney hesitated. He wanted so desperately to know more of Charlotte. He found her so difficult to make out. One moment there was pure hatred in her eyes for him and the next she looked heart broken.</p><p>“Mary, what do you think Miss Heywood’s opinion of me is?” There was no point in avoiding the question. Mary knew him well and the knowing smiles whenever Miss Heywood was near were unmistakable. Mary looked kindly at him.<br/>“I think she thinks you are a conundrum she cannot solve. She seemed quite sad yesterday after the regatta. Did anything happen?” </p><p>“She asked me to leave her alone.” Sidney could not look at Mary as he spoke. He stared down at the table.<br/>“Oh I’m sure she didn’t mean it. With Eliza here, perhaps she thought that was what you wanted?”<br/>“I don’t love Eliza, you know. Not anymore.” Sidney’s eyes remained fixed on the table.</p><p>“I’m sure Charlotte has feelings for you, Sidney. Only the other day, when Tom mentioned you, she turned quite pink and spoke well of you. She suggested you were altogether habit forming.” Mary grinned and squeezed Sidney’s hand. He found himself chuckling.</p><p>“Not too peppery? Perhaps I have grown on her.” Sidney felt his sadness lift. From what Mary said there was hope indeed.<br/>“That’s better. You look so fresh faced this morning Sidney. As if the last years have fallen away.”</p><p>“The sea, Mary. Better than any medicine.” At that moment they heard footsteps coming down the main stairs and Miss Heywood stepped into the dining room. She looked surprised to see Sidney. He quickly got to his feet. <br/>“Mr Parker.” Charlotte nodded, her tone was light, a little breathless.</p><p>“Miss Heywood. I am walking into town and I wondered if you might need anything?” He felt a light kick to his shin from Mary sitting at the table. It was the first thing that had come into his head to say. He held his breath for her reply. <br/>“I have a dress fitting for the ball. Perhaps I could accompany you?” Her tone was hesitant and a little unsure, but Sidney was flooded with relief. He stood transfixed before her, taking in her beauty. Charlotte too seemed rooted to the spot. Fortunately Mary intervened.</p><p>“Well run along then you two.” Sidney came to his senses and held out his arm. Charlotte placed her hand lightly on his forearm and they walked out of Trafalgar House together. </p><p>In the bright sunshine of the morning, they did not speak. There was a stiff awkwardness between them. The townsfolk they passed seemed interested to see them together and many greetings of good morning were given.  </p><p>Sidney steered them towards the back way out of town, the quicker route to the cliffs where they would be alone. On the rougher path up the cliffs they walked side by side, bumping shoulders frequently and apologising in unison, then laughing self consciously. </p><p>“I apologise for being such poor company” Sidney spoke slowly.</p><p>“Not at all. After yesterday, a walk in companionable silence is just what I need.” Charlotte seemed quiet and somewhat sad. <br/>“If I may, could I ask why Mrs Campion returned to London?”</p><p>“She had business to attend to and only came to Sanditon because Tom invited her to the regatta.” Sidney knew that was not quite the truth but he wanted to encourage confidence from Charlotte.<br/>“Oh I thought she came here for you?” </p><p>Sidney sighed. Another assumption, quite a correct one as it happened. He changed the subject.<br/>“We seem not to be walking into town. Perhaps we should go back?”<br/>He was relieved to see Charlotte laugh.</p><p>“No, I find I am compelled to go forward.” Charlotte indicated the path ahead.</p><p>Sidney looked along the path and saw there was no one else to be seen. Looking all around, he was certain they were the only people on the cliffs this morning. He took Charlotte’s hand in his and looked earnestly into her eyes.</p><p>“I was hoping we might find a moment to be alone together.” Sidney felt drawn into Charlotte's huge brown eyes. <br/>He hadn’t planned to kiss her. It just happened. He couldn’t stop himself and Charlotte didn’t try. In fact her arms snaked around his shoulders and she pulled him down towards her. A move that so surprised Sidney, he almost stumbled and found his body pressed more closely to hers than he himself would have attempted. His kiss was going to be brief, light and chaste. Charlotte seemed to have other ideas. As she drew him toward her, he felt her breasts against his chest. He struggled to keep his lower region from brushing against her, but rather failed. After a glorious eternity they parted, to catch their breath. <br/>“What was that?” Charlotte looked downwards. Sidney felt himself burn with embarrassment. </p><p>“Err, my err, I apologise. My fob. I hope it didn’t hurt you, I umm…”</p><p>“Oh of course. I just wondered what it was. That must have been it.”</p><p>There was a long moment of silence between them. Sidney considered kissing her again but decided against it. <br/>“Perhaps we should return? Your dress fitting?” Rather desperate to fill the silence Sidney could only think of walking back to town. Although he bit his tongue in irritation. Why couldn’t he think of something else to say that would keep her beside him for a little while longer?</p><p>Charlotte turned towards the downward path and Sidney followed.</p><p>“Will Mr Crowe and Lord Babbington be at the ball this evening?” Charlotte made easy and pleasant conversation. <br/>“I presume so.” It was almost as if the kiss had not happened. But it had, and neither of them could speak of it. <br/>“And Arthur and Diana?”</p><p>“Most certainly” As they entered the town once more Sidney slowed his pace, to lengthen their remaining time together. All too soon they were outside the seamstress’ shop. </p><p>“I shall leave you Miss Heywood. A dressmaker’s is no place for a gentleman.” Sidney bowed and watched as Charlotte entered the shop. He turned and strode straight for the Tavern. A stiff drink was required.</p><p>Babbington sat morosely drinking port wine, a semi inebriated Crowe beside him.<br/>“What did she mean Crowe? Strutting peacock. I’m no such thing.”</p><p>“Who cares man, just get another drink. Ahh Parker! Your round!” Crowe perked up as he saw Sidney approaching. “And tell Babbers he’s quite wasting his time on Miss Denham.”</p><p>Sidney sat down heavily, his brandy almost spilling over Babbington. </p><p>“I can’t imagine anyone turning down the attentions of a peer of the realm.” Sidney was pleased to see a grin spread over Babbington’s face. “And you Crowe. Will you be chasing that cousin of hers? Miss Brereton?” <br/>“There will be a spot of light flirtation, certainly” </p><p>“In that case gentlemen I suggest we sober up. If tonight is going to be as successful as I hope, I’d like to be able to recall every moment of it.” Babbington’s spirit had returned and his optimism renewed. “And I know just the thing. Come on!”  <br/>Babbington dragged Crowe into the bright sunlight of the afternoon. Sidney followed chucking. He guessed what Babbington had in mind. They walked swiftly, if a little unsteadily, down to the Coves.</p><p>“Was it not here that you revealed all to Miss Heywood Sidney?” Crowe lurched dangerously and Babbington sat him down on a rock. </p><p>“It was and she has seen fit to forgive me. Or to forget.”<br/>Babbington giggled. </p><p>“What a sight indeed. Surely not one she could forget in a hurry? Come on chaps. Last one in dances with Lady D tonight.” Babbington threw off his clothes and waded into the water. Crowe groaned and started to pull off his boots. </p><p>The cold sea refreshed them and removed the last vestiges of hungover poor humour. Crowe swam strongly making both Sidney and Babbers laugh.</p><p>“He really is a most unexpected man”. Babbington watched in awe as Crowe dived between the waves. </p><p>With the additional guests for the End of Season Ball and some guests remaining in Sanditon after the Regatta, the beach was starting to get quite busy. Sidney and his friends bobbed about treading water waiting for a moment that they might safely leave the sea for the cover of the sand dunes. Eventually they just decided to run for it. With an almighty shout of “Charge” they ran through the waves over the sand and back to the dunes where they had hidden their clothes. Several startled ladies hid behind umbrellas as they saw them emerging from the water. Babbington threw himself down on the sand breathless from laughing. </p><p>“I sincerely hope we will not be recognised tonight at the ball”. Babbington looked momentarily worried.<br/>“Oh I doubt it. What would they say? Lord Babbington, I didn’t recognise you with your clothes on?” Crowe lay on the sand letting the sun and wind dry his skin. </p><p>Sidney was the first fully clothed, having mastered pulling his shirt over damp skin as quickly as possible. Babbington struggled but eventually sat beside Sidney on a rock, finally pulling his boots on. Sidney reclined, stretching out his long legs.<br/>“What will the evening bring Babbers? Are you making a declaration to Miss Denham?” Sidney closed his eyes against the sun, just after taking a quick peak at his friend. Babbington looked thoughtful.</p><p>“I plan to Sidney. And I hope for a happy outcome. For both of us.” He peered at Sidney who kept his features even to give nothing away.</p><p>Crowe wandered over, still struggling with buttons and ties.<br/>“You are lost Sidney, and it is obviously to all of us. Put the poor girl out of her misery.” Sidney gazed out to sea. He was not about to discuss his plans for the ball with either of them.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. 20</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The gurgling in his stomach was loud. Sidney was nervous. A sheen of perspiration covered his brow. He dabbed his face with a handkerchief and tried to calm his anxiety. He took some deep breaths and steadied himself before leaving his chambers for the ball. </p><p>After that kiss, he knew. He was certain of it. Charlotte was the one. And tonight he would tell her how he felt. He would lay himself bare and hope for her acceptance. </p><p>He felt perhaps their tumultuous friendship had reached a level of openness and deep attraction, even love. It was certainly nothing he’d ever felt before, not even with Eliza. </p><p>The evening was warm and the sun was sinking. The twilight suited Sanditon so well. The pink sunset lit the sky and reflected off the white stone of the terrace. Sidney noticed a light in one of the top windows. Who on earth would be working at this hour? He couldn't ignore it, but irritated by the distraction from his thoughts, he pushed open the door to the terrace house. Upstairs he could hear angry voices. One was most definitely Tom. Sidney bounded up the central staircase two steps at a time. <br/>He entered the opulent drawing room of the almost finished house and saw the strange sight of Tom grappling with Old Mr Stringer. </p><p>“Your leg is not healed enough for you to be on a ladder!” Tom had hold of Old Stringer and seemed to be holding him back. They struggled with each other. </p><p>“You'll not take my work from me, Mr Parker. It’s my livelihood, when you pays us. Leave me be.” Old Stringer tried to remove Tom’s arms from his shoulders and wriggled free.</p><p>Sidney watched from the doorway quite stunned. He’d never seen Tom so angry and certainly never seen him in a fight before. <br/>As the men circled each other menacingly, Old Stringer’s sleeve caught the oil lamp and it clattered to the ground. A trail of oil spilled from it and soon a pool of fire spread across the floor. Sidney jumped into action. Mindful of his satin breeches and silk stockings, he grabbed Old Stringer by the scruff of the neck, pulling him out of the way of Tom’s swinging fist. With a quick yank he removed Old Stringers oil skin coat and threw it over the pool of fire. Sidney stamped out the flames through the coat, while Tom, still in a fury, launched himself at Old Stringer. </p><p>“For gods sake Tom! The fire!” Sidney shouted to him, but Tom was consumed with anger and could not hear him. The men continued to grapple as Sidney ensured all the flames were extinguished. Flailing with Old Stringer’s now charred coat until he was certain all glowing embers of the wooden floor were extinguished, Sidney turned to the two men still wrestling with each other. Grabbing each man by the collar he wrenched them apart, pushing each away from the other and standing between them.</p><p>“Right. I’ve no idea what’s going on, and I really don’t care. Tom, go home and clean up. Stringer, with me. Now! Move!” He grabbed Old Stringer by the arm, shoving his ruined coat into his face. Sidney marched Old Stringer back to his cottage, some lanes away from the Assembly Rooms. Giving him a final push through his front door, Sidney warned him.</p><p>“Do not come out again this evening. And don’t think you have employment with Parker’s any longer. You’ll be paid what you are owed and not a penny more.” He slammed the door behind him. His temper bristled, and his whole body was tense. He eased his neck and shook himself to calm. He wanted to focus on a pleasant evening of dancing and a stolen quiet moment when he could ask for Charlotte’s hand. This had not been a good start. </p><p>He entered the Assembly rooms to find them filled with music, twinkling bright candle light and a throng of dancing guests. He took a big gulp of wine, offered to him by the liveried servants and searched about the room. Mary saw him and approached.<br/>“Where is Tom. Isn’t he with you?” She looked quite concerned. </p><p>“I’m sure he will be here soon. He had a little business to attend to. That is all.” Sidney gazed about the room as he spoke to her, hoping to catch sight of Charlotte. He noted Diana dancing with Dr Fuchs and smiling shyly. Arthur danced with Georgiana, leaping and whooping, and Babbington seemed to be working his magic on Miss Denham as she appeared to be smiling broadly. But Sidney saw no sign of Charlotte. </p><p>Tom appeared, smartly dressed but with a fat lip, which on him was quite comical. Sidney watched as Mary approached him and tried to touch it. Tom flinched. </p><p>“I tripped. It was dark. There were building materials left out. I shall have words with Stringer in the morning. Don’t fuss Mary. It’s nothing.” </p><p>“Perhaps a dance will help. Off you go you two.” Sidney patted Tom on the shoulder as he took hold of Mary and guided her towards the dance floor. Sidney smiled to see them embrace and move with the lively music. </p><p>He continued to skirt the large Assembly hall, on the look out for Charlotte and eventually he spotted her. At least, through the crowd he saw her distinctive brown curls elegantly piled on her head. She was dancing with vigour and her curls bounced with the music. The sight made Sidney smile. As he followed the dance he noticed she was dancing with Young Stringer. Momentarily Sidney felt a stab of jealousy. Stringer had been clear he was interested in Charlotte since the Regatta. Thinking back, Sidney remembered the flirtatious conversation between them, he’d overheard at the cricket. Stringer obviously thought Charlotte a prize worth winning. Sidney walked around the room and positioned himself directly in Charlotte’s eyeline. He wanted to ensure Stringer saw him too. Sidney caught Stringer’s eye first. The gentlemen exchanged the briefest of acknowledgements. While the look on Stringer’s face registered disappointment at Sidney’s arrival, his face also communicated a concession. Stringer knew his place and Sidney has never doubted it, but he was not about to cut in. When Charlotte’s eyes met with his, as Stringer swirled her around, Sidney briefly nodded towards the balcony. That balcony. Taking a big gulp of wine as he passed one of the servants, he took the stairs up to the balcony, the scene of their first substantial conversation. </p><p>He steadied himself on the balcony gripping the rail before him as he looked down at the busy dance floor. </p><p>Sidney had been midway through the well rehearsed speech to Charlotte when Edward arrived. He hadn’t wanted it but he knew he was needed. He excused himself and ran down to the dance floor to intervene. Babbington was thunderstruck. Esther was in tears and Lady Denham was purple with rage. Sidney grabbed Edward by the arm and led him from the ball. The midnight coach would be arriving soon and Sidney would ensure Edward left on it.</p><p>“She loves me you know.”</p><p>“Edward you are drunk and Esther is your sister. I’m certain she will accept Babbington if she hasn’t already and you should be pleased for her. It’s an excellent match.” They stopped outside the now closed Tavern and waited for the coach.</p><p>“But she loves me.” Edward groaned and pitifully wailed. In his drunken state his irritation suddenly flared and he took a badly aimed swing at Sidney, who ducked quickly and caught him before he fell to the floor. Standing Edward on his feet and placing him against the Tavern wall, Sidney dusted himself down.</p><p>“Have you friends in London you can stay with? Sidney was calm, and thinking of the practicalities. </p><p>“I’ve got nothing.” Edwards head hung down, his shoulders rounded. He looked defeated. Sidney felt sorry for him.<br/>“Go to Bedford House. Tell Bridges I said you can stay until you find your feet. I’ll send a note to my gentleman’s club. Someone there will help you with work or funds, I am sure.”</p><p>The coach arrived and Edward climbed aboard with only slight encouragement from Sidney. He waited until the coach had pulled away and was out of view. Relieved to be rid of the inebriated Edward, Sidney walked back towards the Assembly rooms quickly, once more nervous of what was to come.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0021"><h2>21. Chapter 21</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Back in the Assembly room, the dancing had recommenced and everyone seemed to have forgotten about Edward and his rude interruption. Sidney looked up at the balcony. It was empty. He sighed. He of course, hadn’t expected her to wait for him, up on the balcony all alone. But now, perhaps the moment had been lost. Getting Charlotte alone again would prove tricky. <br/>Babbington stepped into the centre of the room and waved to the orchestra to stop. With the music silenced everyone stopped dancing and a hush settled.</p><p>“I’d like to make an announcement.” Babbington waved a glass around. “Please charge your glasses and congratulate me as the most fortunate of gentlemen. Miss Denham has done me the greatest honour and has agreed to be my wife.”<br/>An enormous cheer went up.</p><p>Sidney was thrilled for his oldest friend, but of course he couldn’t possibly ask Charlotte to marry him now. It would look like he was doing it on a whim. He walked towards Babbington and threw his arms about him in a bear hug. </p><p>“Congratulations old man!” Babbington’s eyes were filled with tears.</p><p>“I can’t believe it Sidney, I didn't think she would.”</p><p>Esther stepped up and grasped Babbington's arm.</p><p>“Well I did. And I’m happy.” Her smile lit up her whole face and made Sidney really wish he knew where Charlotte might be. <br/>Sidney walked around the room and then took a turn outside towards the gardens.</p><p>There he saw her. Charlotte was seated on a stone bench overlooking the rather grand water fountain Tom had installed just in time for the ball. Beside her, sitting a little too close for Sidney’s comfort was Young Stringer. Sidney hesitated. If he walked over now and interrupted, he would never know who it was she really favoured. Perhaps it was best to let things unfold and see who Charlotte would choose for herself. He quietly stole closer to overhear the conversation.</p><p>“I don’t understand why he would want to stop you Mr Stringer?”</p><p>“He thinks I’m getting above my station. That things like this don’t happen to men like me.”</p><p>“Well I think it’s admirable, and you have every encouragement from me.”</p><p>Sidney stepped back inside. He’d heard quite enough. It was plainly obvious they shared a mutual closeness and Stringer seemed to be declaring his feelings. If it was true and Charlotte favoured Stringer, there was no point in Sidney standing in their way. He would never do that. Not after Eliza and the interference from her family.</p><p>He decided, unwisely, the best course of action was to get blind drunk with Crowe. He went in search and found Crowe dancing wildly with Clara Brereton. Drinking alone would have to suit him instead. He called over a servant and relieved him of his whole tray of drinks. Perched precariously on a small ballroom chair with the tray of drinks balanced on his knees Sidney worked steadily through the glasses of wine, knocking back one after the other until the floor started to tilt and swim a little. </p><p>“There you are Sidney. Come along, come along, Diana needs a dancing partner.” Tom slapped Sidney on the shoulder making him spill a whole glass of wine on his breeches.</p><p>“Dam it Tom.” Sidney’s eyes blazed. Tom wisely backed away leaving him to it. </p><p>Sidney sunk back in the chair. He was alone. While the whole room around him danced and spun. He was convinced he’d lost Charlotte to Stringer, of all men. He’d tried so hard to protect his heart and he’d failed. He could feel the pounding pressure in his chest. The ache of loneliness. He watched as Tom and Mary danced together laughing joyfully. What he wouldn’t give for a wife like her. A wife like Charlotte. But he was too late. Slowly Sidney’s melancholy turned to ire and further turned to fury. Why did life always turn against him? Tom breezed through life, annoying and upsetting everyone and never turned a hair. Problems fell away from him and landed squarely in Sidney’s lap. As the wine coursed through his veins and swamped his brain, Sidney knew who was to blame, for everything. He staggered to his feet, wobbled a few steps forward and confronted Tom. </p><p>“Steady on old chap. I think you’ve had a bit too much…” Sidney swung his fist full into Tom’s face. Mary screamed, and clung to Tom’s arm to stop him falling.</p><p>“Sidney!”</p><p>“That’s better.” Sidney shook out his knuckles. “Should have done that a long time ago.” </p><p>Sidney walked, rather shambolically from the Assembly rooms, not absolutely sure where to go but the beach seemed a good idea. </p><p>He awoke the next morning and looked about. He was on a small wooden bench inside a small wooden hut. His head hurt a lot. He couldn’t quite stretch out, as the hut was too small. He gingerly sat up, and felt the rocks inside his skull crash and roll.</p><p>He didn't know where he was and couldn’t remember how he got wherever it was. Sunshine streamed through cracks in the wooden slats of the hut. He tried to remember. Eliza?  No, she was in London. The ball, yes, Charlotte oh and then Stringer. The wine. Sidney felt there was something else. Something terrible. But first he had to work out where he was. He stood up, far too quickly and his head smashed straight into the roof of the hut. The force of the blow buckled his knees and he sat down heavily again. After a few moments of vigorously rubbing his head he noticed a catch on the door of the hut. He leaned forward carefully and opened the door. It swung open outwards and Sidney all but fell out onto the sand. Stumbling on his cramped legs he sat down on the damp sand and looked up. The bright paint of a bathing machine stung his eyes. So that’s where he’d slept last night. </p><p>Stowing his clothes under a rock Sidney submerged his aching body and throbbing head in the cold water of the sea. The chill numbed the pain, and cleared his mind. A memory flashed into view. Sidney groaned. Had he really hit Tom? As he floated in the water he felt his right hand. He saw it all now. Tom grinning at him in his mocking way.</p><p>“If you say so brother.” How infuriating he was. But nevertheless Sidney wished he hadn’t raised his fist to him. He would have to make amends and apologise. He hoped Mary would forgive him. </p><p>After a change of clothes, a shave, some devilled kidneys and a couple of glasses of wine, Sidney felt half human. He wasn’t looking forward to it, but he knew what he had to do. </p><p>He presented himself at the front door of Trafalgar House. Hodges looked reluctant to allow him in and showed him into the front drawing room, only ever used for guests.</p><p>Sidney paced the room, hoping that Tom would see the funny side and forgive him. He heard steps and turned.</p><p>“Oh, Mr Parker. I wouldn’t have expected you here so soon.” Charlotte stood before him, an expression of contempt on her face.<br/>“I came to apologise. I behaved badly. I hope you don’t think badly of me.” Sidney felt contrite. Charlotte’s eyes blazed.</p><p>“I think you should be apologising to your brother.” </p><p>“Yes, I came to apologise to him. But also to you. You see it’s Babbington’s fault and..”</p><p>“What has Lord Babbington to do with you hitting Tom?” Mary marched into the room. She was still extremely angry.</p><p>“He hasn’t. Not really. It was the wine, and the last few months. I saw red. I’m so sorry Mary.”</p><p>“Like Charlotte, I really think you should be telling him, and not me. Sit down Sidney, you look awful.”</p><p>Sidney caught a glimpse of his features in one of the mirrors. Mary was right. His features looked ravaged. Shaving had not helped. It probably made things worse. He was pale and drawn with dark circles in the hollows under his eyes.</p><p>He settled on a chair and looked up. Charlotte had left the room without excusing herself. He rubbed his still aching head.<br/>“Oh Sidney. I’ll call for some tea.” Mary lent and kissed the top of his head gently.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0022"><h2>22. Chapter 22</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Full of tea and cake, and forgiven, almost by Mary, Sidney strode towards the Terrace. He was unsure the welcome he would get. If Tom needed to land a punch in retaliation Sidney was ready for it. He just hoped he wouldn’t break his nose. <br/>As he got closer there was no sign of Tom. The men worked diligently and took no notice of Sidney walking through the building site. He was about to ask of Tom’s  whereabouts when he heard a hail and hearty call.</p><p>“Sidney! There’s my brother!” Sidney looked up and saw Tom balanced on some precarious scaffolding swaying gently under his weight. </p><p>“Come up here and look at the marvellous prospect. It’s truly magnificent.”</p><p>Beside Tom was Young Stinger. Sidney sighed. As if apologising wasn’t bad enough, he had to do it in front of Stringer.<br/>At the top of the ladder Sidney steadied himself and stepped determinedly onto the gantry spanning the road between the terrace houses. </p><p>“Tom I, umm, about last night. I didn’t, I shouldn’t, I”</p><p>“Come now Sidney. What did mother always say? Least said, soonest mended! You were drunk and I was too slow. No harm done. Well just a little bruise.” Tom pointed to the slight blue gash under his eye. He seemed rather pleased with it. <br/>“Mary explained to me my less than virtuous traits. She suggested I was perhaps a little irritating at times. You are a good brother, Sidney.” </p><p>In that moment Sidney understood Tom’s exuberant ways. Always seeing the positive in the face of adversity. Sidney had long thought him deluded, but his positivity and fervour was what enabled him to succeed. It was all coming true because Tom had believed it would. The terrace was almost finished. New enquiries had been received and several houses looked likely to sell or be rented very soon. And Tom held no grudge against him. That was the best news he could have. </p><p>Now relieved of the burden of shame at punching his own brother in public, Sidney sought to leave the scaffolding as Tom descended the ladder ahead of him. He was stopped by Young Stringer. </p><p>“If I may Mr Parker?”</p><p>“What is it?” Sidney tried to disguise the annoyance in his voice.</p><p>“I’d like to apologise. I was not myself last night. I’d had a row with my father. Miss Heywood comforted me and helped me see sense. I hope you don’t think anything untoward..?” Sidney didn’t speak. He wasn’t sure what it was Young Stringer was trying to tell him. </p><p>“We had a substantial conversation and Miss Heywood clarified things. I’ve made up my mind and should like to leave Sanditon immediately. I just didn’t want to let Mr Parker down. I was hoping perhaps you could help smooth things over?”</p><p>Sidney gripped the rope gantry, his knuckles white as he processed this new information. Leaving immediately. Why would that be if nothing untoward had happened between them? Were they running away together because his father disapproved? It seemed an unlikely option for the very sensible Miss Heywood. But she had also behaved impetuously before. </p><p>“I’ll see what I can do, Mr Stringer. Good luck in your future. I wish you every happiness.” </p><p>“Thank you Sir. I aim to return once I’ve completed my apprenticeship.” Sidney looked at Stringer quizzically. He couldn’t possibly marry while an apprentice. What would they live on? </p><p>“Could I ask one last favour, Mr Parker. Miss Heywood suggested you’d help. I have no contacts in London and no idea where to find lodgings. Could you suggest anywhere?” Sidney mumbled incomprehensibly under his breath and tried to descend the ladder quickly to get away from Stringer. Nothing made sense. As he lowered himself on the rungs, Stringer leant down and spoke quietly.</p><p>“You’re a very lucky man Mr Parker. I hope you prove worthy of her.” </p><p>Their eyes met and Sidney sensed an empathy from Stringer. And he saw the defeat in his eyes. He had not won Miss Heywood’s heart after all, despite trying. Sidney realised he had made far too many assumptions and felt somewhat foolish. No wonder the poor man wanted toleave Sanditon. Sidney crossed the Square. Tom wasn’t the only person he had to make amends with. And this one would prove harder than most.</p><p>Sidney knocked on the door of Mrs Griffiths lodgings. He was hopeful of finding Miss Heywood with Georgiana. One apology, twice the embarrassment, but at least it would be over quickly. He found Georgiana alone.</p><p>“What do you want?” </p><p>“Err, about last night.” Georgiana started at him coldly. Sidney shifted on his feet.</p><p>“I behaved badly. You are right to rebuke me, but Tom has forgiven me.”</p><p>“Do you think you are fit to be my guardian?” Georgiana’s tone was aloof.</p><p>“I, err, give you my word I will try my very best to make amends.” Georgiana shook uncontrollably and her face melted from stern into a broad smile. The giggles she had tried to contain spilled from her lips. </p><p>“It was the funniest thing I’ve seen since I’ve been here.” She shrieked with laughter remembering the drunken punch and Tom holding his face. Sidney tried very hard not to laugh with her but was losing the battle. He turned away and his face was no longer under his control. After a few moments they both regained composure.</p><p>“I have something to ask you. I should have done it earlier. As my ward, I wonder how you feel if I should marry?”<br/>Georgiana looked momentarily shocked then wary.</p><p>“Not Mrs Campion? Oh please no!”</p><p>“No, not Mrs Campion.” Sidney drew in a long breath.</p><p>“I hope to ask for the hand of Miss Heywood and as you are friends, I thought you ought to know. Do I have your blessing?”<br/>Georgiana looked uncomfortable and could not meet his eye.</p><p>“I’ve told her you are not to be trusted.” Sidney considered, Georgiana didn’t look particularly contrite at her admission, just embarrassed.</p><p>“But, yes, if she accepts you, and she’d be mad to, I’d love it! We’d be sisters. I’d have a proper family again. This is the best news.”</p><p>For the first time in many years Georgiana wrapped her arms around Sidney’s waist and hugged him hard. </p><p>“Well I’ve yet to convince her and since you’ve sullied my reputation perhaps she will refuse me.”</p><p>Georgiana looked seriously at Sidney. “I don’t believe she will. Although she did once say she thought you cold and impolite.”</p><p>“Oh?”</p><p>“After that awful luncheon at Sanditon House.”</p><p>“Well much has happened since then, perhaps I have been redeemed in her eyes.”</p><p>“After punching your brother?” Georgiana giggled once more. Sidney groaned.</p><p>“Is it hopeless? Am I beyond redemption?”</p><p>“Do you love her? Like I loved Otis?”</p><p>Sidney resisted the urge to tell Georgiana her infantile infatuation with Otis was not on a par with what he felt for Charlotte.</p><p>“I believe I love her very much.”</p><p>“Well then. We shall lay a trap.”</p><p>“Georgiana, no! I will not play games.”</p><p>Georgiana pulled herself to her full height and looked sternly at Sidney.</p><p>“You need to speak alone, do you not? Where there will be no interruptions and you will not be discovered.”<br/>Sidney considered carefully. Georgiana was correct. They did need time together, for explanations and apologises.<br/>“Leave now. Go to the river and wait there. I shall do the rest. Go!” Georgiana gave Sidney a firm shove towards the door.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0023"><h2>23. Chapter 23</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sidney walked the longer way around to the river, taking the shady path alongside the waterfall. He stopped for a moment watching the tiny rainbows dance across the rocks. He breathed in the cool air, heavy with water spray.</p><p>“Tally ho!” </p><p>Sidney turned to find Arthur pink cheeked and puffing heavily, striding towards him.</p><p>“I’m on a five mile march, Sidney. Join me.”</p><p>Sidney fell into pace with Arthur amused to see him breathless and walking quickly.</p><p>“Sorted things with Tom yet? I can imagine Mary was displeased.” Sidney cringed. Of course everyone would be talking about it.<br/>“He’s forgiven me.”</p><p>“Of course he has. He’s a quite remarkable fellow. You didn’t think he wouldn’t? Where are you headed?” Arthur’s sentences were punctuated by panting breaths.</p><p>“Just to the river.” </p><p>“Oh good, I don’t think I can go much further. It must be five miles by now.”</p><p>Sidney stopped walked abruptly.</p><p>“Arthur, I’m meeting someone privately. You cannot stay.”</p><p>“Yee gads! Do tell?” Sidney realised he would not be able to deter Arthur unless he told him. He was reminded how Arthur would follow him when they were boys, always lagging behind and making Sidney wait for him to catch up.<br/>“If you must know, it’s Miss Heywood.” Sidney sighed. </p><p>“Madness! Although I’m certain she is one you can trust.” Arthur patted Sidney on the back, waved a cheery goodbye and took the higher track across the meadow and away from the river bank. Sidney watched him stride off singing to himself and swinging his arms widely. He thought about Arthur’s words and trusting Charlotte. It felt comforting. Finally he could release the fear that his heart might shatter if he ever let it free to love again.</p><p>As Sidney got to the river, he smiled to himself to see, rather conveniently, a rowing boat was tied to the post used at the Regatta as the starting line. He looked up and down the bank for the owner. There was no one in sight. What would the harm be to borrow it, and return it later. He sat down on the bank and removed his top coat. The sun was shining brightly and it was hot. He removed his top hat and placed it with his coat beside him. The breeze rustled the long grass around him, half hiding him from the meadow. He stretched out his legs before him and leant back on his elbows. He plucked a long stem of rye grass and munched thoughtfully on the toughten stem. Would this beautiful bright day bring him the happiness he so desired? <br/>“Mr Parker?” Suddenly towering over him was Miss Heywood. He felt rather disadvantaged reclined in the grass. The sun created a halo effect around her and shone straight through her muslin dress. Sidney squinted and tried to shield his eyes unsuccessfully.</p><p>“Miss Heywood.” Sidney was lost for words. Her face was one of exasperation. He scrambled clumsily to his feet, wishing he hadn’t removed his coat, as he felt rather exposed in just a flimsy white shirt. Brushing himself down and finally remembering to remove the grass stem from between his teeth he started his apology.</p><p>“Miss Heywood. My behaviour yesterday evening. It was uncalled for. I have apologised to Tom and he has seen fit to forgive me. I hope that you may come to forgive me too.” Sidney stood stiffly, trying to read the expression on Charlotte’s face which gave little away.</p><p>“I think that is between you and your brother.” Charlotte turned from his and took several paces away before Sidney realised she was leaving. He lunged forward and grasped her by the arm without thinking.</p><p>“Wait, wait, wait, wait.” Charlotte turned towards him. He could clearly see there was anger in her eyes.</p><p>“What do you want from me?” There were tears too, brightening her deep brown eyes.</p><p>“I, I.” Sidney was dumbfounded. He hadn’t prepared for her to be so dismissive or angry.</p><p>Fortunately they were interrupted by a panting Crocket carrying a large picnic basket.</p><p>“Mr Parker, Miss Heywood. Miss Georgiana sends her apologies, she is indisposed.” Crocket placed the heavy picnic hamper on the grass not altogether carefully.</p><p>“Oh” Charlotte looked confused. “But she just sent me a note to meet her here?”</p><p>“Yes and now she is unable to join you Miss Heywood. Miss Georgiana apologies.” Crocket repeated her orders, looking more flustered and desperate to leave. Sidney knew she often felt overwhelmed by British society rules and norms.</p><p>“That’s fine Crocket. Go back to Georgiana and tell her all is well.” Crocket curtsied and ran up the bank relieved to be heading back to town. Sidney and Charlotte turned to watch her run away from them. Charlotte giggled.</p><p>“Were you to meet Georgiana here too?”</p><p>“It would appear Miss Heywood, we are involved in some sort of ruse orchestrated by Georgiana.” Sidney felt the atmosphere between them melting. Charlotte’s face relaxed and she chuckled. </p><p>“It is my experience that Georgiana lies with a virtuosity I have never come across before.”<br/>Sidney smiled.</p><p>“Am I forgiven?”</p><p>“It is not my place to forgive you, Mr Parker. If Mr Tom has, then that is quite enough for me.” Charlotte laughed again. “Although I saw him admiring his bruise in the mirror this morning.”</p><p>“He’ll be expecting lots of sympathy from Diana. I’ve yet to face her wrath.” Sidney picked up the hamper and gently steered a casual walk towards the river bank. Charlotte fell into step beside him. </p><p>“I thought that maybe we could continue our conversation, from last night. On the balcony. Before Edward’s badly timed interruption.” Sidney noted Charlotte tense and look away as he spoke. He decided to change the subject.</p><p>“A boat! How fortuitous.”</p><p>“I hope you are not suggesting we steal someone’s boat?” Charlotte looked mildly horrified.</p><p>“We can borrow it.” Sidney stepped into the boat, placing his feet wide to steady it. He could see the reluctance on Charlotte’s face. She wasn’t going to slip away from him this time. He stretched out his arm, and looked directly at her.</p><p>“Come on.” It was a playful request, with a determined edge to his voice. She could not possibly refuse him.</p><p>“Again Mr Parker? I believe we’ve been here before.” Charlotte stepped gracefully into the boat. Her light frame made no difference to the stability of it on the water.</p><p>Sidney guided her to take a seat.</p><p>“I hope this time, Miss Heywood, we shan’t be interrupted.” With a strong kick, Sidney pushed the boat away from the bank and took up his seat opposite her. He engaged the oars and started to row.</p><p>“Would you mind if I tried? On my own. I’d like to.” Charlotte blushed slightly as she reached out to take up the oars, her hands brushing Sidney’s as he allowed her to take over from him. He sat back and smiled. Charlotte rowed steadily. Sidney realised it was yet another accomplishment from the very unexpected Miss Heywood.</p><p>“You’ve done this before?” </p><p>“Yes, you showed me at the Regatta.”</p><p>“I sense Miss Heywood, that you are not as new to rowing as I assumed.”<br/>Charlotte giggled.</p><p>“There have been a number of assumptions Mr Parker.”</p><p>“Yes I believe I’ve underestimated you at every turn, Miss Heywood. Charlotte.” Sidney took hold of the oars from Charlotte and swung them into the boat. They were in the middle of the river now and could drift gently for a while. He took hold of her hands and pulled her towards him. Charlotte didn’t speak. Her eyes grew wide with expectation.</p><p>“I hope this time to be able to finish our conversation. Without interruption.” Sidney took a deep breath. </p><p>“Charlotte.”</p><p>“Sidney, I wonder, could I just ask. Mrs Campion? Is she, will she, um?” Charlotte looked nervous, and a little bit fearful.</p><p>“Mrs Campion and I parted amicably. She is in London. She will not be visiting again. She is my past. I hope Charlotte, you will agree to be my future?”</p><p>Charlotte gasped and clutched Sidney’s fingers more firmly.</p><p>“What are you asking of me?”</p><p>“I’ve long wanted a different life. One that I didn’t think I deserved. When I met you I started to believe that just possibly that life could be mine. With you. So I place my heart and my soul in your hands Miss Heywood, and ask that you will take me to be your husband. Will you?” Sidney stared deep into Charlotte’s eyes, not daring to blink. Her hands remained firmly in his, she even squeezed his fingers between hers. </p><p>She smiled angelically and her breath was fast and shallow.</p><p>“I don’t know what to say. You’ve surprised me, Mr Parker. I wasn’t expecting..” Her  voice was high pitched and excited.<br/>“Say yes.” Sidney was firm and serious.</p><p>“YES!”. It was all she could manage. Charlotte gasped for breath and tried to compose herself.</p><p>“Do you mean it?” Was her next slightly worried question.</p><p>“More than I’ve meant anything I’ve ever said.” Sidney was calm, sensing Charlotte’s excitement. He pulled her towards him further until she slipped onto the seat beside him, their hands still firmly entwined. They sat together for some time. Neither speaking, just adjusting to the change that had occurred between them. </p><p>After some time, and noticing they were drifting towards the reeds on the far bank of the river, Sidney took up the oars once more. He handed one to Charlotte.</p><p>“Let’s go back.”</p><p>“Not back Sidney. Only forward.” Charlotte took the oar offered to her and together in perfect unison they rowed across the river to where their journey had begun. </p><p>Once at the river’s edge, Sidney stood and secured the boat. He stepped onto the bank and pulled Charlotte from the boat and placed her delicately on dry land. He was shaken from the idyllic moment by a shout of “There they are! I said they’d be here.”<br/>Together they turned and saw Arthur, Georgiana, Tom and Mary running towards them over the meadow. </p><p>“Is it done? Did she say yes?” Arthur beamed red faced and panting at them both.”Miss Heywood, please tell me you accepted my brother?”</p><p>“I have, yes!” Charlotte looked as though she could hardly believe her own words. </p><p>Mary rushed to her, tears spilling from her eyes.</p><p>“My dearest Charlotte. You’ll never regret becoming a Parker. I know I haven’t. Oh congratulations Sidney!” </p><p>Tom stepped up and slapped Sidney firmly on the shoulder.</p><p>“Well done brother dear. I couldn’t have chosen better for you. Charlotte is quite invaluable.”</p><p>Georgiana could not hold back any longer. She threw herself into Charlotte’s arms and the girls hugged and squealed together. <br/>“We will be family! I have you, a sister. And a less wretched Sidney.” Georgiana let go of Charlotte to give Sidney a warm embrace that soothed him. Perhaps she didn’t think as badly of him as he thought. </p><p>Preparations were made to visit the Heywood’s over the following days. Tom and Mary travelled with Sidney and Charlotte. They were keen to revisit and strengthen their friendship with Mr and Mrs Heywood. Tom was hopeful of perhaps securing some funding for his building work, and maybe even a labourer or two from the Heywood brood. Mary was keen to spend time with Mrs Heywood and swap talk of Sanditon for talk of the wedding. <br/>Sidney meanwhile could not believe the love and closeness of the Heywood family. He felt welcomed instantly. The boys took him shooting for their supper and let him claim the prize for the fattest grouse shot. Charlotte’s sisters teased him, asking if he had kissed their eldest sister and threatened to tell their Papa. Mr Heywood took Sidney aside for a father to son conversation. Sidney had missed the influence of an older and sensible man in his life. There was something of Mr Heywood that reminded Sidney of his own father, and a loss was breached by the new found affection Sidney felt. </p><p>After some days, it was time for the Parkers to travel back to Sanditon, leaving Charlotte with her family to prepare. The next time they would meet would be at Willingdon Village Church on the morning of their wedding a few short weeks away.</p><p>They would both have to bear the agony of their separation until then. It was a small price to pay for their everlasting love and life together.</p><p>The end.</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>